Bloodline
by vouvezsoir
Summary: What if Itachi was a power-hungry, Akatsuki-seeking, immoral murderer?
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

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**Yes, I am aware of the real reason that Itachi killed off his clan, but I changed it for this story's sake. With that being said, enjoy!**

**This is pre-Shippuden.**

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Beyond the clan house, nothing was suspected. It seemed to be a normal night in Konoha, most of the village being asleep.

Most.

Uchiha Itachi sat on the edge of the roof of his family's house, contemplating. The soft winds tousled his hair lightly, misplacing his ponytail. Not that it mattered. That was the least of his problems.

He was about to do something irreversible, terrible, and undoubtedly selfish. A crime so horrible that it would mark him down as an S-rank criminal for the rest of his life. The young Uchiha gazed coldly onto his clan's grounds, twirling his katana.

And yet, it had to be done. The Uchiha were beginning to grow too skillful, too haughty. They all felt that because of the blood running through their veins, they were entitled to everything. The police force was unbelievably corrupt, the stores were unfriendly, and the community was too proud. Brothers and male relatives constantly stole each others' eyes for the sole purpose of becoming better shinobi. Itachi wasn't a judge, but he knew for a fact that eye theft was wrong. But ninety-nine percent of the Uchiha community didn't, and that was the problem that he had come here, to this rooftop, to solve. Not one person could be spared. The bloodline could not be continued.

"Fire Style: Phoenix Flower Jutsu." He whispered. Not a second passed after his words were uttered becore a massive chakra-sustained fire engulfed the tops of buildings nearby. He grinned, almost maniacally as he heard shouts of pain and discomfort. Half of the people would be dead before they woke up, but he had to work fast or else his plans would be destroyed.

A raven-haired blur, he was the fastest in his clan at the age of fifteen. His somewhat-uncanny speed helped him travel from house to house with his katana, finishing off the ninjas and civilians that weren't already reduced to an ashy pile. It was definitely easier than he thought. Foolhardy ninja charged him straight on, only to be parried and jabbed. Fire Style jutsus were well blocked by the black flames of Amaterasu. For one of Konoha's most cherished bloodlines, its jonin were damn pathetic.

Itachi sheathed his bloody katana and surveyed the block. Blood and ash littered the street. Walls were cracked and broken, some with craters from hard hits. Bodies lined the block like ornaments on a Christmas tree. Itachi gave a sad smile. There were no more Uchiha. No one had been spared, not even his parents. Not even his lover. Not even...

"You _murderer_!" A slow, predictable fist launched towards Itachi's back. He sidestepped, watching the little boy land flat on his face. Of course. How could he forget his own little brother? Sasuke struggled to get up as tears ran down his face.

"You killed Mother and Father! I won't let you get away with this!" He blubbered. He attempted to throw another punch but Itachi grabbed his fist and twisted it until he heard a crack. Sasuke howled in pain as he was pushed roughly against a wall. Black dots spotted his vision when his head hit the rough surface.

"Look around you. How do you think you can stop me?" Itachi produced a kunai from his pouch and pressed it against the ten-year old's stomach. "I could kill you with the tiniest amount of pressure and not feel remorse. You are weak, so you pose no threat to me. Nor will you ever. I will always be stronger than you." Itachi released the pressure of the kunai from his brother's stomach and put it back into the pouch. "And that is why I'll spare you tonight." He turned around to leave, deciding his night over, but a word stopped him mid-stride.

"Why?" Sasuke's voice was cracked and little over a whisper. "Aniki, why?" The older Uchiha turned his head halfway around, his expression blank.

"Power." And with that, Itachi vanished into the night, leaving his brother traumatized and at a loss for words among piles of cadavers. Konoha was still sound asleep, unaware of the catastrophy that lay within its walls. A smug grin crept across his lips. By the time his brother squealed on him, he would be well on his way to Amegakure. The Akatsuki would put him to better use than the Hidden Leaf ever had...

He grimaced, his mood turning sour. Here in Konoha, he was a tool for the Hokage and other higher-ups to play with. He had no meaning. At their passing whim, he could be executed or sent out on a suicide mission. The outcome of his life could be decided in half of a second. Itachi stared out into the sky from his perch on Konoha's gate. The full moon's bright shine seemed to him to be a reminder of what lay ahead- a new beginning. To the Akatsuki, where they would realize his goals to have power. The thought did something that no other person had ever succeeded in.

Uchiha Itachi smiled.

And hopping from his perch on top of Konoha's gate, he easily slipped past two sleeping guards. What an incompetent village. Was it so hard to pull together a decent guard force? The shinigami himself could barge in and the town would be none the wiser. He shook his head to dispel the thoughts and started his travels, excitement running through his veins at the thought of what lay ahead.

The only thing he didn't count on were the two, shining violet eyes that were steadily tracking his every move.

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**And that's the end of the prologue. Good? Bad? In-between? I'd like to know. Anyway, here are some words to know in Japanese, courtesy of Google Translate...**

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**_Aniki- Older brother_**

**_Katon- Fire Style_**

**_Shinigami- Death God, Grim Reaper_**

**_Katana- A type of sword_**

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**P.S. The only reason I'm uploading this again is to edit it.**


	2. The Enemy

**Chapter 1: The Enemy**

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Itachi launched himself through the trees as fast as physics would allow. Time was of the essence. He was out of Fire country, a day's journey, in only the first four hours. He kept running, his goal to get as far away from Konoha as possible. After three more hours he noticed a slight change in the atmosphere. His clothes started to stick to his skin and he swatted away mosquitoes more often. It was definitely more humid and hot than it had been earlier. The scenery gradually changed until everything around him was lush and fertile, and in the center of all the greenery was a wide, proud river. River Country.

He winced when the son showed its face. His eyes started to drag slowly down, and he realized that he was tired. And hungry. Night turning into day was completely unexpected as the young Uchiha had spent his whole night running. Sleep hadn't once crossed his mind.

The boy leaned against the tree he was sitting on in an attempt to get more comfortable. Food could wait. It wouldn't hurt to take a little nap... Would it? It would take the Hidden Leaf at least a day and a half to catch up to him at his speed. After he woke up, he would ask the local villages around about the Akatsuki. He closed his eyes and smiled, leaning his head on the tree's trunk. It was a good plan.

His eyes closed and his breathing shallowed as he fell into a comfortable sleep.

(/)

The violet-eyed girl watched the boy sleep. She took in his features. The lines beneath his eyes seemed permanent. He was definitely not someone who liked to laugh a lot, and yet he smiled and laughed during his sleep. In between unintelligible mumbles there were only a few words that she could catch before he went back to vocalizing.

"Sweet dango sauce... Wait, turtle, come back! I'll even get you some Pocky..." She tried hard not to snicker but was miserably failing. What the hell could he be dreaming about? She cocked her head, amused, as she listened on.

"No. Fuck you, Hokage... I'm not your damn puppet..." The smile was wiped off her face. His mindless mumbles were a wake-up call reminding her of what she had to do. Her mission was to kill a ninja, any ninja, who had committed a crime worthy of death. And killing of your whole clan was a crime worthy of death in her eyes.

She had been traveling from country to country, watching and waiting for an incident to happen. And they did. But most of the ninja who she'd seen were of the Akatsuki, and therefore, way too strong. She, a single fourteen year old girl, couldn't possibly take out two S-rank missing nin...

She watched him take another deep breath and felt electricity traveling down her spine.

But she could definitely take out this mass-murderer.

She shifted positions. How long exactly had she been there? Pulling out her watch and checking the time, she growled.

"Shit..."

She had been so caught up in the rise-and-fall motions of his obviously-muscular chest that she'd wasted a whole hour watching him sleep. Damn teenage hormones.

Determined not to fail, she slid her tanto silently out of its sheath and stalked closer to her opponent from the other side of the tree branch. Her nerves lit on fire with every step she took, almost expecting him to wake up at the worst possible moment. But he didn't move a muscle; he was still very obviously asleep. Her heart beat faster. If she could kill a mass-murderer, then she would definitely be promoted to ANBU status...

His eyes snapped open just as she retracted her arm for a sweeping slice across his chest. Unlike most people, Itachi was aware of his surroundings as he slept. He had been vaguely aware of someone watching him, but not aware enough to wake up. His body was still fully functioning. The only thing that kept him from waking up in his sleep was his loss of coherent thought. So Itachi, being Itachi, was instantly wide awake, and in his place, the girl was surprised to find her blade stuck in a tree branch.

A substitution...

She ducked, narrowly missing a brutal kick to the face and slid to the other side of the tree branch. They faced each other from opposite sides-Itachi fixing her with his trademark glare while the girl staring indignantly back.

Itachi spoke first. "Hn. I didn't think the hunter-nin would have already caught up to me." His words only deepened the girl's stubborn look. Itachi took note of it. She seemed like a person who was used to getting what she wanted. Her silver hair flew freely behind her in the light breeze, though Itachi knew she had to be about her age. Or younger.

"I am no hunter-nin! I am Genkyo Murasaki, a jonin from the Land of Waves, and I am here to assassinate you."

The look on her face was that of a seriously stubborn girl. Itachi cast a glance at the hitai-ate around her neck, which was indeed that of Wave Country, and raised his eyebrows in amusement.

"Is that so? If you are a jonin as you say you are, then I will immensely enjoy making you eat your words." Murasaki scowled, but said no more as she shifted into taijutsu stance. Itachi grinned and did the same.

Murasaki charged first, going for a sweeping kick that was easily dodged. Itachi backed up and landed a punch in her midsection, sending her sprawling towards a different tree. She hit it with a thud and made a crater from the impact. She cursed at herself for being so predictable. Itachi smirked. Maybe this would be easier than he thought.

But his smirk didn't last for long.

Murasaki's purple eyes snapped open and she sped over to him with fires burning in her eyes, pummeling him with a flurry of graceful kicks and punches. His eyes widened. How fast was she? He didn't even see her approach. He slinked away, narrowly avoiding a left-handed punch as he evaded her swift attacks and retreated to the leaves above. She smirked at him, hand still up in stance.

"Scared, pretty boy? Come down and face me in combat!" But Itachi wasn't listening. His eyes were closed in concentration while he steadily controlled his chakra. His eyes opened with a jolt.

"Sharingan!" At his call, his eyes reverted back to their ancestral color. Red swam over his eyes, covering everything but the three tomoe. Itachi's vision was immediately sharpened; he could feel the three tomoe in his eyes start to spin. He deftly hopped down from the tree, landing with an agile flip in front of her and gave her a small grin, peeking into her purple eyes. The kunoichi was surprised. Would he really give her this easy of an opening? She didn't let herself answer the question and just took the opportunity. Lifting her leg up with unmatched speed, she brought it crashing down on Itachi with force that should have sent him tumbling into the undergrowth of the forest.

But his body disappeared.

It was gone.

Her foot crashed into the tree branch and sent splinters in every direction.

"Damnit!" She cursed. Where could he have gone? She looked all around but saw nothing that would be helpful in finding the missing-nin. Suddenly, she heard a chuckle that made her breath catch in her throat. It wasn't the sound of the chuckle. Well, that was creepy too, but it was where. It was coming from all around her, and echoed, creating a very sinister atmosphere.

In the blink of an eye, a grinning Itachi was in front of her, wielding a very sharp-looking katana. His glowing red eyes seemed to be the only thing she could see, the only thing her eyes were attracted to. Everything else darkened, leaving her alone except for two stern eyes. Those eyes... Shit! She was in a genjutsu. It had to have happened when he landed in front of her.

She closed her eyes, hoping for the best in letting all of her chakra flow to her head.

"Release!" Warily, she opened one eye. And then the other one. She was still there. Itachi's red eyes seemed to talk.

"You are under my genjutsu. Do you think I would let you break it that easily?" Murasaki scoffed. Of course not. But he didn't know what she was preparing. She started to rapidly create hand seals. Itachi raised his sword warily. "What are you doing?"

She didn't answer; she didn't have the time. There were thirty-six hand seals to be done and she had only completed twelve. Itachi's eyes narrowed. What ever justu she was doing, he couldn't let her finish it. With his sword raised and his face completely expressionless, he made for a very intimidating foe.

"Since you won't answer me, I will be forced to incapacitate you." A drop of sweat dripped down her face as Itachi lunged for her with his sword. She evaded his swipes right, then left, then rolled with a feline grace, all while doing her hand seals. Itachi's speed was unbelievable and it took every single drop of her concentration to evade him while forming her jutsu. She cried out as his blade slashed across her leg, but the pain was short lived. She was done with her jutsu.

Murasaki locked eyes with Itachi on her last seal.

"Kekkei Genkai Release!" Itachi was mesmerised by her irises and shocked by the sudden change they had gone through-three windmill-blade shaped lines went through them and were spinning very rapidly. It made for a very hypnotic effect-he simply couldn't pull his eyes away.

When Itachi finally did pull his eyes away, he found himself to be in the exact same position.

Except for the fact that Murasaki was smirking. He felt his eyes narrow. Something about this place... was different. Different but the same. If only he could pinpoint what it was...

Her irises were still spinning in a unique dance.

"Figured it out yet, pretty boy?" The girl's words echoed from everywhere, not only from where she was standing. Itachi's eyes widened, and then everything clicked into place.

"Damnit..."

He was in his own genjutsu, but it was controlled by her. The kunoichi lifted her tanto at eye level, mocking him. A subtle smirk spread was spread across her lips.

"I knew you would. You seem like a smart boy." She slowly, agonizingly walked closer to him. "My Kekkei Genkai allows me to reverse or partially control any of the Three Great Doujutsu because of my parents, who each have equal amounts of blood from their bloodlines. And I'm the only one who can do it." She settled in front of him, smiling demurely and twirling her tanto. "I am quite possibly the worst opponent for you, Uchiha." Trailing her sword across his shoulder, she spoke again. "What should I do first? I have a mind to chop off all of that pretty hair, but there are just too many choices..." Itachi scowled. She was toying with him, savoring all of her time. He needed to get out of the genjutsu before things got out of hand.

There was only one other way that he could do it.

And it hurt like hell.

Itachi hastily made the hand seals for a shadow clone, wincing as it took out its katana. It gave him an apologetic look before mustering up all its strength, and before Murasaki could realize what was going on, it whacked him across the face with the flat side of the blade, rendering him unconscious.

The dark-forest world melted away to reveal a chakra-drained opponent. Keeping up Itachi's genjutsu technique had obviously overexerted her, but she still held her ground while the two shinobi fought with their swords. Metal clashed; cuts were made. However, it didn't take a battle specialist to see that the kunoichi was fighting a losing battle. It had been a while she had been engaged in a good battle, and this Uchiha character was giving her a run for her money. She made up for her flaws with feline grace as she twisted and parried her way out of tough slashes.

Itachi was impressed by the girl's deft, agile style. She used every single opening to her advantage, and even his Sharingan had a hard time predicting her next moves. He couldn't let up his guard for a second. Itachi knew the swordfight could take all day, but he didn't have the time. What he needed was a good, old fashioned ninjutsu battle.

Itachi formed his favorite hand signs as he retreated.

"Fire Style: Pheonix Flower Jutsu!" A fire great enough to burn down the Hokage tower erupted from his lungs. Murasaki stared in shock and fear, paralyzed until the last possible second when she ran away to the trees. The fire followed her loyally, lapping at her feet as she twisted and flipped gracefully out of the fire's way through forest. This wouldn't work. She couldn't keep this up for long. If she did, she would end up as a lump of charcoal on the forest floor. Thousands of scenarios flipped through her head, all ending with her death. She chose the only one with a chance of her pulling through.

It was all or nothing now.

She settled onto a tree branch and formed the hand seals for her final attack, pouring her very last drop of chakra into it.

"Water Style: Eight-Walled Barrier!" The eight walled water barrier shot up just as the dancing flames began to lick at her hair. Itachi was impressed. The girl had more skill than she let on. She was easily better than half of Konoha's jonin.

The two chakras in different forms fought against each other, the fire fighting to evaporate the water while the water fought to put out the fire. The first wall was out with a sizzle. A drop of sweat dripped down Murasaki's neck as she concentrated with her eyes closed. Sustaining a barrier was hard when your chakra was being gradually overpowered.

Murasaki was in awe of Itachi's seemingly endless chakra pool. Every time her chakra pushed against his, it was consumed.

And she was losing strength by the second.

Itachi smirked to himself as he noticed her barriers weakening. It was only a matter of time now before she collapsed of chakra exhaustion. He counted out loud.

"Collapse in... Five."

Murasaki pushed harder, pouring her entire being into the jutsu. She couldn't let this.. this asshole declare when she would lose. She wouldn't.

"Four."

She grunted in exertion.

"Three."

Her body felt like it was falling apart by the hinges.

"Two."

She could barely keep her eyes open.

"One... Now."

Her eyesight vanished slowly, leaving her to see in receding tunnel vision. She heard a dying sizzle and felt the heat draw closer before everything turned black.

Itachi walked over to the jonin, studying her in amusement. This was the first time he'd actually gotten a good look at her. She was tall for a girl, about his height. Her silver, fringed hair was cut in layers, the shorter pieces being closer to her face while the longer ones settled around her shoulders and neck. One could tell by looking at her face that she was about Itachi's age or younger, but a simple glance at her body would suggest that she was more along the lines of sixteen. She dressed in a simple armored shirt covered with a breastplate that exposed her belly and navy blue shinobi pants. Overall, she was a good-looking kunoichi.

Itachi was about to rear up his flames again and finish her off but thought better of it. She was a prodigy, just like him. One with different intentions, no doubt, but still a prodigy. He was sure that the Land of the Waves would want her back. Who wouldn't want someone with such a unique Kekkei Genkai?

A sinister, uncharacteristic grin spread over Itachi's face as a plan came to life within his mind. He would take her and barter her back to the Land of the Waves for ransom. Or, ideally, anyone who would take her for a good amount of money. His wallet was full now from ninja service, but it wouldn't be for very long. He needed income.

Itachi's eyes gleamed. One day out of Konoha and he was already turning into a badass criminal. He was sure to be accepted into the Akatsuki once he found Amegakure. Maybe Murasaki would know where it was. He glanced at the limp, unconscious figure at his feet and sighed. It would be a while until she woke up.

But, he thought, as his stomach produced questionable noises, at the moment, he needed food.

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**Vocab, thanks to Google Translate!**

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_**Katana- A type of sword**_

_**Pocky- Pretzel-covered snack popular in Japan**_

_**Amaterasu- A technique only able to be used with the Mangekyo Sharingan. One can burn things that they are directly looking at with these flames.**_

_**Akatsuki- Well, if you don't know what this is... Maybe you shouldn't be reading this fic. But they are a secret, villainous organization of S-class missing-nin.**_

_**Doujutsu- A Kekkei Genkai-recieved ability used through the eyes**_

_**Kekkei Genkai- A bloodline-inherited ninja art**_

_**Jutsu- A ninja art**_

_**Dango- A sweet treat made out of rice flour, shaped in balls, and skewered. Usually served with sauces over the top.**_

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**Enjoy!**


	3. Dinnertime

**Chapter Two: Dinnertime**

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Itachi's body was screaming for nutrition. All he had packed for the journey were two, calorie-laden boxes of chocolate Pocky and a pack of gum, none of which would satisfy the gnawing hole in his stomach. He needed real food, and he remembered seeing a small town not too far away where he could get it. But, of course, there was the problem that Murasaki presented.

He sighed and hoisted her over his shoulder, putting her back up against a tree trunk that wasn't burnt to a crisp. Pulling out a rope from his shinobi pouch, he carefully and deftly tied her hands to her feet so it was impossible to create any hand seals if she woke up. He didn't feel like dealing with another fight.

And just to be safe, he made three shadow clones and had stationed them around her.

He henged into a common traveler before going into town. He was still in Fire Country, and the last thing he needed was Konoha in his business... Bingo books were updated quickly, and he couldn't take any chances. With that, he vanished into the afternoon sun.

He got to town in less than a minute and immediately made his way to the food stands all the way on the other side. Studying the civilians, he realized that he was walking a little too quickly. It looked out of place in the small farm town. So Itachi controlled his feet and walked with slow, overly-casual steps down the street.

The first place he went to was a fried rice stand.

He wrinkled his nose, silently wondering how the hell it was Sasuke's favorite food. It was too... ordinary. But, he thought, maybe his new captive would enjoy it.

He strolled in and sat down, making a mental note to ask about her food preferences. There was a pretty, young brunette behind the counter who was staring at his henged form, a young Minato Namikaze (who, according to whisperings from Konoha girls, was good looking), with hearts in her eyes. Itachi grinned. It was time to turn on the charm.

"What can I get for you today, sir?" She leaned over the counter provocatively. Itachi pretended to be interested.

"Are you on the menu?" The girl blushed furiously red and stuttered out that she lived down the street. Itachi nodded and flirted back.

Ten minutes later he walked out with a free box of fried rice, compliments of Yuki (who spent the rest of her shift daydreaming), and ended up looking for food somewhere else. He ended up buying four dango mitarashi, three for him and one for Murasaki, and some sushi and maki rolls for him. Dango was his guilty pleasure.

He walked home quickly, decidedly ignoring his new found rule about speed. He was too hungry to care.

The first thing he did when he got to the tree was to poke the unconscious kunoichi on the forehead. Her eyes jolted open and she looked horrified.

"Who are you?" Itachi looked down and grinned inwardly. He still hadn't henged out of Minato's likeness. With a poof, the real Itachi was back. She scowled.

"Untie me." Itachi's face remained impassive as he answered.

"We both know I can't do that, because you would just run away or try to kill me. And then you wouldn't be able to eat your dinner." Itachi set down the box of fried rice and Murasaki's mouth watered, her eyes glued to it. Fried rice was her favorite...

Itachi noticed her reaction and his tactical mind cooked up a plan. "Don't get so excited. There is no way I am untying your hands. I will feed you on one simple condition."

Murasaki was slightly put off by the idea of the boy feeding her like she was an amputee, but she waited patiently, which was a very rare thing to do for someone of her character.

"Tell me all you know about the Akatsuki." The girl blinked her purple eyes. He went and bought her food just to grill her about an organization of missing-nin? What a strange interrogation strategy.

"Um... They're a group of rogue ninja that wear black and red cloaks. They kill people for ransom, I'm pretty sure. Why do you want to know?" Itachi sighed, his stoic expression hiding his annoyance. He had expected to learn more information, but it seemed that the inner workings of the organization were only known to those involved. Nevertheless, he decided to try again.

"Where is Amegakure?" She blinked once, twice, three times before shooting him an incredulous look.

"Do I look like a stalker to you, pretty boy?"

Narrowing his eyes, Itachi swiftly and wordlessly opened the box of fried rice and got two chopsticks' worth. He'd had enough of hearing her voice.

"Open your mouth." Murasaki sighed, looking back and forth from Itachi's stoic face, to the food, to her tied up limbs, and then back to the food. How her position had fallen. She shot him a glare.

"I refuse to be fed by a mass-murdere...MMPH!"

He pushed the glob of rice into her mouth and her eyes widened. The rice was delicious. Still glaring at him, she continued to munch wordlessly. Soon, the whole box was gone, and Itachi slowly reached for the tray behind him.

"Do you like dango?" She squinted suspiciously. Now, he was giving her dessert? There had to be a bigger catch. She gulped, and she felt a drop of sweat slide slowly down the back of her neck. Maybe it was drugged. She gave him a sideways look before asking him her next question.

"What are you buttering me up for?" Itachi cocked his head quizzically, the ghost of a smirk playing on his lips.

"Nothing. I just want to make sure that you get enough calories for our journey tomorrow, Murasaki-san." The girl paled.

"J-journey?"

"Yes, we will be traveling back to the Land of the Waves to sell you off for ransom money. Or in that case, anyone who will pay a pretty penn-"

_Thump._

Itachi looked down, raising his eyebrows at the limp figure attached to the tree. Her head was down and her eyes were closed, but she wasn't asleep.

She had just fainted.

He shrugged nonchalantly and pulled out the four dango, taking a few moments to devour them with his eyes before strategically and quickly inhaling the food off of the sticks. And then he went on to eat his sushi and maki rolls. At last, when his dango sticks were clean and his seafood was devoured, sleep's long fingers began to push down his eyelids. He allowed it; he had no reason not to.

Because unlike the last time, there were no meddling kunoichi around to bother him.

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**Did you like it? It's been pretty silent in the review section, y'all. Be a cool kid and review:)**

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_**Pocky- Pretzel-covered snack popular in Japan**_

_**Dango- A sweet treet made out of rice flour, shaped in balls, and skewered. Usually served with sauces over the top.**_

_**-San- An honorific suffix added casually onto people's names for respect**_

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**Enjoy!**


	4. The Journey Begins

**Chapter Three: The Journey Begins**

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When Murasaki woke up the next morning, she was surprised to find Itachi gone. There was a note on her lap to replace him.

_Dear Murasaki-san,_

_If you have this message in your lap, it means I've gone back to the village for food and a bath. Expect me back in about five minutes._

_P.S. Don't try anything. The trees have eyes._

_-Pretty Boy_

And at the bottom of the page were a pair of perfectly-drawn sharingan eyes winking.

What the hell did he mean, 'the trees have eyes'? Now was probably the only chance she would get to escape from this lunatic. Murasaki was surprised to find out that her ties were loose enough to slip out of. She simply pulled her hands away from her bonds, and she was free. Getting up and stretching her limbs, she grinned when she felt her muscles loosening. She knew that the Uchiha wasn't dumb enough to let her go, but what was he playing at? There were no threats to be seen.

She wasn't about to wait for them to appear.

Timidly, she took a step forward. And another. And yet another. Invigorated, she started to take her first long stride, and...

Nothing happened.

She tried to raise her foot, but it wouldn't move. What the hell was going on? Panicking, she looked down, afraid of what she might see.

And see she did.

Her legs were being slowly encased in wood, wrapped around, around and around like a spider would to its prey. And it was spreading fast. Soon, the wood was up to her waist. Her midriff. Her neck. She swore, cursing herself for her own stupidity. She should have known that there would be genjutsu traps around... There were sure to be a ridiculous amount stationed all over the area. Pretty Boy wasn't stupid. She could just imagine him setting them all night while she was asleep, writing the note, and leaving.

Murasaki tried to focus chakra to her head but only felt it coming in short, painful bursts. It wasn't anywhere close to the fullness of the healthy, uninterrupted stream she was used to. Yesterday's fight had really tested her limits, and she was still in the process of recovering from chakra depletion...

Suddenly, she heard two soft footsteps land in front of her and saw Itachi's stoic figure emerge from the forest. Her eyes widened. Instead of his black Uchiha shirt and shinobi pants, he had on a white kimono with a black sash around the middle. His wet hair hung down in neat fronds all around his shoulders. Murasaki had to try hard to keep from laughing, despite her dire situation. He looked so... Effeminate.

Itachi halted the jutsu, leaving her head free.

"I see you've found one of my favorite genjutsu traps. You really should learn to read notes more carefully..." Murasaki let out little chuckles while he continued his speech. The fact that he was completely blind to his androgynous image made it funnier.

Meanwhile, Itachi was confused-a rare occurrence. His quick mind usually prioritized and solved problems very easily, but this was one he couldn't figure out. She was obviously trying to hide the fact that she was laughing, but her efforts were futile. Every time she took a glance at him, she would snicker a little.

Itachi was very good at concealing his emotions. His face was usually a stony mask of nonchalance that feelings seldom affected. But after three, long minutes, he'd had enough. His eye twitched.

"What is so damn funny?" She stopped laughing and smiled at him, examining him slowly from bottom to top. Itachi felt uncomfortable under her close scrutiny. She bit her lip for a couple of seconds. "Well?"

"You look girlier than me!" And with that, she erupted in a stream of laughter. Itachi could feel his ears burning. He didn't look the slightest bit like a girl! The kimono was one of the many new clothes that he had bought while at the town to remain inconspicuous as a missing-nin.

Murasaki continued to talk in-between laughs.

"You've never even told me your name! For all I know..." She dramatically lowered her voice to a whisper and leaned in slowly, like she was telling him a secret. "You're a girl in disguise." She laughed again.

The blush on the tips of Itachi's ears spread to the back of his neck, but his face remained as impassive as he could keep it.

"You don't need to know my name. In fact, you've never called me anything but 'pretty boy', hence my signature on the note." She cocked her head, a smile still playing on her lips.

"Let me guess. Is it Miyuki? Ayako? Setsuko?" She burst into another tangent of laughter. Itachi felt his eye twitch yet again, and that was a record. She was greatly annoying him, but she didn't need to know that. He switched back into impassive mode.

"My name is Itachi. Call me nothing else." Murasaki's laughter stopped, and for a full second she looked innocent. Until a sinister grin spread across her face.

"Okay... Itachi-chan." Itachi reached out to pinch the bridge of his nose as she started to laugh again. He had a mind to just untie her and let her go free, to rid himself of her presence. But that wouldn't make him badass Akatsuki material at all.

Mildly annoyed, he wordlessly pulled out the box of dumplings he bought for Murasaki and set it down on the tree. Tying her arms and legs while she was still trapped in the genjutsu was easy, and with a hand seal he released it.

She relaxed at the sensation of being able to move her limbs but was put down again when she realized how tightly the ropes were tied. Her wrists and ankles felt raw. Itachi was definitely not taking any chances in her escape.

For the next ten minutes, Murasaki was begrudgingly fed by Itachi. Her jovial mood was gone. She thought all the while about her predicament and how she would get out of it. She had made the wrong decision in attacking Itachi, that was for sure. She sighed, deflated. Now she was being taken hostage and sold back to her country... Or to anyone who would take her. The thought made her shiver.

She would escape when the time came, but for now, she was stuck to accepting the food from Itachi's hands and being treated like a hostage.

Meanwhile, Itachi was lost in thought also. The Hidden Leaf were sure to be on his trail by now. He needed to get moving, and soon. His only problem was his hostage. He grimaced. She had set him back so far... His original plan was to find Amegakure and be accepted into the Akatsuki, but now he had to find the Land of the Waves, which was on the opposite side of Konoha, and return her. How would he transport her without her escaping?

Murasaki "umph"ed as a frustrated Itachi fed her a dumpling particularly forcefully. He mumbled a sorry, deliberately ignoring the heated glare she fixed him with.

Genjutsu wasn't an option. Itachi simply didn't have the chakra reserves or the stamina to keep it up for that long. He couldn't tie her up, either, she would be too heavy to carry for a three day journey. It would slow him down dramatically-enough for Konoha to catch up with him. And who knew what side Murasaki would join? The Hidden Leaf and the Land of the Waves were allies. Itachi could probably take down the ANBU that fought him with ease, so fighting wasn't a problem, but he didn't want to lose his hostage because of a confrontation.

He couldn't.

Itachi had an idea, but he didn't want to use it. It was inhumane. Not to mention dangerous if he did it too often...

Itachi could use his Mangekyo Sharingan to control her. He would trick her into looking into his eyes, activate it, and then tell her what to do. Easy.

In fact, the more he thought about it, the better it sounded. He could make her do a number of things, like following him to the Land of the Waves, or taking a bath... Or shutting up about his hair. An evil grin spread across Itachi's lips and he grunted in approval. That would work.

The only downside to it was that the victim of his hypnotism would be completely aware of what they were doing, while they were doing it. But since when did he care about Murasaki's feelings?

Itachi set down the empty box and packed up all the food trash. Not in the mood to find a trash can, he preformed a summoning jutsu and sent it to a different dimension. It vanished with a poof.

*Somewhere in the world of summons*

Gamakichi and his friend Kamaitachi the weasel sat under a tree, happily chatting in the summertime.

"...and that's how I got thirty flie-UMPH" Kamaitachi looked over to see his friend unconscious with a dumpling box between them.

Not again...

*Back to the forest*

Itachi wondered for a second where it went, but a second later decided it was a question for another day and could wait. He fixed his gaze on Murasaki.

"We need to get going. Konoha is sure to be on our trail by now." She frowned.

"We? You're crazy if you think you can get me to come with you." Murasaki was proud of the boldness of her voice. Inside, she didn't feel as confident.

The corner of Itachi's mouth turned up a miniscule amount.

"There are a lot of people that think I'm crazy." She shivered at the darkness of his voice and stayed quiet. Unknown to her, an unseen red began to flood Itachi's eyes. He slowly lifted his face to meet hers and she froze in shock. Those eyes...

She couldn't look away. Invisible claws held her in place, held her eyes wide open and staring. It was like she wasn't in control of her body. She felt afraid, _truly_ afraid, for the first time in a while.

Itachi's voice was calm and melodic when he spoke.

"Murasaki-san, I need you to do me a favor. Come with me to the Land of the Waves without resistance. Do you think you are up to it?"

No! Never in a million years, she wouldn't! She tried to force the words out of her mouth, but the invisible claws held her in place. What really came out was the exact opposite.

"Y-yes." Itachi sighed in relief. For a second, he thought the jutsu wouldn't work.

"Good." He crouched down to her level and untied her bonds, blinking to dispel his Sharingan.

Murasaki was trembling and in awe of what had just taken place. Those eyes... She was controlled. God. The thought scared her as well as invigorated her. Did that mean she could use her kekkei genkai to reflect its use? It would certainly be useful. Either way, it was too late. The damage was done, and now she had to follow Itachi to her homeland. A sneaky grin spread across her face.

Or did she?

The silver-haired girl body-switched to another tree branch about thirty feet away. Not a second later, she felt claws digging into her back. The same chakra-formed claws that had been holding her in place a few minutes ago were now digging into her flesh with hungry zeal. She screamed as the unseen force made her ricochet back to Itachi like a rubber band.

Itachi watched her with interest. What an effective jutsu. Sure, it took up chakra, but what it took barely made a dent in reserves. It was perfect for the trip. He watched in boredom as she body-switched over and over again, only to be sent back to the same spot she started in.

"There's no point. I need you for money; why would I let you go so easily?" She whipped her head around to shoot him a hateful glare.

"I hope the Hidden Leaf catches you and gives you the death you deserve."

"Hn, not happening. Let's go. This is a three-day journey, and we don't want to be late." Itachi slung the sack of effeminate clothes he'd purchased over his back and motioned for Murasaki to come. She resisted at first, but knowing as well as Itachi that she had no choice, she took off at the breakneck speed that he was known for and leaped through the trees.

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**This chapter was a bit boring, but it gets better. Anyways, thanks to the guest who reviewed earlier! Reviews make me happy.****  
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	5. Tea Country

**Chapter 3: Tea Country**

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The two shinobi ran with varying levels of enthusiasm well into the day and didn't stop until their feet were at the border of Tea Country. They ran around the very edge of Fire Country, not daring to go any closer to the center. Itachi wasn't that bold yet. Soon, they were at the border of Fire Country and Tea Country. The trees that characterized his home were gone-replaced by farmland. Itachi was optimistic about the journey, as it was going exactly as he had planned it. It was an amazing feat, considering Murasaki's lack of stamina.

Itachi stole a glance at the obviously tired girl, and for a moment, he felt guilty. Every time she tried to stop or take a breath, his jutsu dug its claws into her and forced her to keep up. She was definitely not used to his kind of speed.

Murasaki felt screwed. Royally. Through the whole journey, she couldn't stop thinking about how unfairly she was being treated. Well, maybe it _was_ a little fair. She did try to kill him... But it still wasn't right to control people for your own selfish reasons.

She knew she was with him for the duration of their journey whether she liked it or not.

So maybe she could make it a little more fun. The girl turned towards her captor, a mischievous smile beginning at the corners of her mouth.

"Ne, Itachi-chan." The boy turned his head around slowly, annoyed by the use of his nickname but secretly elated that she was talking to him at all. The journey had been stone silent before she piped up. The way he saw it, he had three choices: tell her to shut up, ignore her, or listen to what she had to say. In the end he chose the latter. A quiet run was never a fun one.

"Yes, Murasaki-san?" Her evil smile widened and a drop of sweat slid down the side of Itachi's face. What was she planning?

"Why do your eyes look like a toddler drew under them with a Sharpie marker?" Itachi narrowed his eyes. So that was the game she was playing at, hm? He slightly regretted his choice not to tell her to shut up.

"For the same reason that your hair looks like its been in a paper shredder." Her eyes narrowed but her mouth slowly spread into what looked like another evil smirk.

"Touche. At least my hair stays true to its gender, Itachi-chan." If Murasaki had been a boy, Itachi would have punched her. But Itachi could never hit a girl outside of a fight. Though he could murder a whole clan of his sleeping relatives... Itachi shook his head. There was something seriously wrong with his morals, but he would think about that later. He wiped his face clean of emotion and turned to Murasaki.

"I keep my hair long to distinguish myself from other people." She cocked her head.

"_Riiight_. The only other people who look like you are dead, so-" Itachi decided he had had enough of her voice.

"We're here." Murasaki looked up from where they were situated to find themselves standing before thee colorful gates of a town in Tea Country: Mukozuke. Two bored-looking guards not much older than them perked up at the sight of Murasaki, one throwing her a lecherous grin after looking her over. She scowled. They hardly paid any attention to Itachi, who suddenly felt awkward. Which was rare.

"What is a girl as fine as you doing in Muko?" The first guard said, winking. Her answer was quick and blunt.

"Minding her own business." The smirks were off their faces in an instant and they looked at Itachi for what seemed to be the first time.

"Damn. Must be a real tiger in bed, huh?" The second guard piped up.

A... tiger?

Itachi could feel heat spreading to his ears, to his face, and finally to the back of his neck, while out of the corner of his eye he saw Murasaki standing there, frozen with her mouth open. She was equally as red.

"W-we don't do... anything of that nature." The first guard looked at Itachi with a knowing smirk.

"_Suuure_. Anyway, we'll let you into the village. You guys are obviously shinobi." They stood on opposite sides of the gates and let them enter, but before Itachi could get his second foot out of the border, the second guard put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. I like myself a feisty one every so often too.." He trailed of and took his hand off Itachi's shoulder, leaving him redder and more flustered than before. The guard thought he... fornicated with... Murasaki?

Itachi was so embarrassed and so flustered that he didn't see the guards reach for a bingo book after he left.

Between Murasaki's mumbles about "damn perverts" and countless other profanities, there was silence. The two walked awkwardly for the next few minutes before Itachi spoke up.

"We, uh... Need to get a hotel room for t-tonight..." The purple-eyed girl was amused. She didn't expect him to be the stuttering type. "But after we get dinner. Dinner should be soon now, because it's getting dark, and there are a lot of shops around..." Murasaki listened to him ramble. There was definitely something on his mind. And if it was embarrassing, she needed to know. She needed every single chance she could get to annoy the Uchiha.

"What are you thinking about?" Itachi's onyx eyes looked into her purple ones. Her voice wasn't demanding or harsh; just curious.

Truthfully, he was trying to enjoy the sights of the town, but his mind kept trailing back to what the guards had said. Was his infatuation really that obvious? He certainly hoped not. Itachi renewed his impassive facade.

"Nothing." Murasaki raised a silver eyebrow. She wasn't about to give up that easily.

"Really? Because you seem pretty nervous. You're blushing all over your face right now." He was? The thought made him blush even harder.

"I'm not thinking about anything. Drop the subject." His voice was at his usual flat monotone. He turned away from Murasaki so she wouldn't be able to see his blush.

"Damn! Fine.." She turned away, grumbling about how he had his boxers in a twist. Itachi couldn't help but to steal a glance at her cleavage, which wasn't completely covered by her breastplate. A thin stream of blood trickled out of his nose.

They arrived at the hotel by evening and walked in to be greeted by a perky young redhead working behind the counter.

"Konnichiwa! I'm Megumi. What sort of room would you..." She took a moment to look them over. "Two teenagers like?"

"Two beds, please." Murasaki piped up. Itachi curtly nodded and then turned back to Megumi, who had a doubtful expression on her face.

"Alright... That's two thousand yen." Frowning, Itachi dug into his Uchiha fan shaped wallet and begrudgingly pulled out the cash. Murasaki smirked. It was funny to see the S-ranked criminal turn sour over a few bucks.

The woman gave the teens a happy wave and called after them as they walked away with the keys.

"Protection will be in the bathroom closet! Stay safe, kids!" They both turned beet red and walked up to their room. Itachi unlocked the door and they both walked in, Murasaki collapsing on her bed while Itachi sat down on his. They were silent for a while until Murasaki spoke up.

"I need new clothes. You burned the ones I had in my pack with your damned Fire-Style jutsu." He sighed. He didn't feel like going out with her to buy anything. The trip had taken a toll on his energy. Blushing, he looked her over.

"You look fine." She crossed her arms and glared at him.

"Yes, but my clothes are dirty." He sighed, about to get up, when suddenly a lightbulb went off in his head. He could always control her into buying clothes. And dinner. His mood lightened immediately.

"Of course you can have new clothes." Murasaki's eyes widened. She had expected a flat out no from the Uchiha.

"What?" Itachi's closed eyes started to fill with red.

"I didn't stutter, Murasaki-san." And with that, he snapped his eyes open and stared right into hers. She shivered. Was this really happening again?

"You will go into town and buy your clothes, your dinner of choice, and some miso ramen and four dango mitarashi for me. Tell no one of me or our mission." He closed his eyes, dispelling her from his command. She felt the jutsu's claws retreat from her back and she dropped to her knees in sheer surprise.

What a sick bastard.

"Wait." Itachi fished into his Uchiha fan wallet. "10,000 yen for everything." Murasaki huffed, and with one last look of disdain she trudged out of the room before his jutsu could do it for her. She never wanted to feel those claws again.

The silver-haired girl's eyes widened as she looked around the town. There were stands and shops in the Land of the Waves, but none as showy or beautiful as the ones in Tea Country. Every kanji of every name seemed to be carved with the stingiest attention to detail.

Soon, Murasaki's feet led her to a ramen stand and she sat down, slumping her shoulders forward. Only a few days ago, she had been a powerful, ruthless jonin out on a mission. Now, what was she? She looked over her current predicament.

A powerless, chakra-less hostage sent out to do the simple chores of a lunatic.

Sighing, she waited until an old man came out with his teenage daughter. A smirk played at Murasaki's lips, temporarily pulling her out of her foul mood. Why was it that ramen stands were always owned by an old man and his daughter? And dango shops by old women? She would never know.

"What do you want to order?"

"One bowl of miso ramen to-go, please." The old man and his daughter got right to work, mixing the pasta dough and cooking the soup. It would be a good few minutes before the ramen was ready.

Murasaki sighed, closing her eyes. Now all she had to do was-

"Hi." The sudden voice next to her made her eyes shoot wide open and a kunai was automatically at his throat. She lowered it, embarrassed, when she saw the subject of her annoyance.

It was one of the guards from earlier. He had short, brown spiky hair and a pink, thin scar ran across his face. He was older than her by a few years, looking around seventeen. His lips were straight and impassive, unlike earlier, when he was grinning at her lecherously. She grinned, amused when she saw his hitai-ate. It had the Tea kanji on it. Why did the Tea Country have ninja? They were just setting themselves up for jokes. What would they do, burn her tongue to death?

"Um... Hi?" Murasaki really didn't want visitors. She just wanted to get the ramen and leave, which would bring her one step closer to buying new clothes.

"Where is the ninja that you were with earlier?" Her eyes widened. It looked like Tea Country was on to Itachi. She could be set free! She opened her mouth to tell them where he was, but felt claws grabbing threateningly onto her forearm.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." She felt a few claws leave her arm. He cocked his head.

"Really?" She nodded.

"Really." A few more claws left. He glared at her for a few seconds, and then pulled out a bingo book, rapidly flipping through pages. He settled on one, licked his finger, and opened the page.

"You're trying to tell me that you haven't ever seen this ninja before in your life?" He handed the book to her and she studied the contents of the page. Under a current picture of Itachi were his statistics, background, and the crimes he had committed. He used to be an ANBU before going on to murder his clan except for his little brother for twisted, sick reasons. What a shame.

Murasaki looked up from the book and gave the ninja her most innocent gaze.

"No, I haven't. Honest." Finally, she was claw-free. The young man crossed his arms and fixed her with a glare.

"I'm not here to play these games with you. I'm here to gather information. Now tell me.." He leaned in closer, still glaring. "Where is this man?" Murasaki's eyes narrowed, and she felt a little bad for not telling him, but she was enjoying her claw-free time.

"I don't know. And even if I did, I'm not entitled to tell you." He sighed, dropping his hands to his sides.

"Then it looks I have no other choice but to take you in for questioning." Murasaki twisted her wrist out of the man's hand as he grabbed it. She could have just as easily broken his arm, but she didn't want to cause any more of a scene. The father-daughter ramen stand workers were watching them with interest.

The man scowled and reached for her arm again, only for her to slap it away. He let out a sigh. He had been expecting this to be easy.

"I have a life! I'm not going with you to answer dumb questions when I don't have to." She turned around to walk away, but the man followed close behind her.

"Look, girl... I don't want to have to restrain you, but I will if I have to." She raised an eyebrow and kept walking, heading this time to a dango shop. The young man pinched the bridge of his nose and formed a few hand seals.

"Earth Style: Yarn Prison!" Out from the ground sprang thin, tough tendrils. Murasaki jumped out of the way of a few, gracefully dodging them, until they wrapped around her waist, pinning her arms down to her sides. One slid around her mouth so she couldn't speak. She growled, trying to focus chakra into her system, but she only felt short, pulsing bursts.

The young man just smirked at her.

"Strange.. I don't sense a chakra signature on you." Walking over to her, he threw her wrapped-up body over his shoulder. A few villagers stared at the situation in surprise. "Well that just makes my job easier then, doesn't it?"

Murasaki fumed silently as she was carried off. She barely had enough time to wonder what would happen to her until she felt a sharp burst of pain on her neck and everything turned black.

/-Back at the hotel an hour later-/

Itachi's eyes snapped open, jerking him out of his barely-there sleep. His subconsciousness told him that he didn't have dango.

Or ramen.

Or Murasaki.

And that was a problem. He shot up from his bed, searching the room. She should have been back by now, and he should have been happily inhaling his dango off of their sticks. But the room was completely empty. Why wasn't she back? He ran a hand through his now-messy hair and paced around his room. He was about as frustrated as an Uchiha could get.

He didn't know why, but he felt she was in danger. And, as much as he hated to admit it, he sort of liked her presence, though she was forced to travel with him. It was a lot better than traveling alone. Itachi was about ready to storm out of the room until he tripped over something. He looked down at the object with red eyes and the ghost of a smile grew on his face.

It was a picture. An old picture of a silver-haired girl on the shoulders of a black-haired, blue-eyed man with a kind smile. Something was very familiar about the girl... He realized it with a smirk. It was Murasaki. That was one half of the picture. Holding on to the man's hand was a feminine one, but he couldn't see any more because the other half was burnt and blackened. With a frown he realized why. He remembered Murasaki's voice earlier in the afternoon and placed the emotion she was hiding under it.

"You burned the ones I had in my pack with your damned Fire-Style jutsu."

Sadness. He burnt a memory she couldn't replace.

Sighing, he put the picture down on the dresser and stood in the doorway, taking one last glance at it before walking out of the door. He would have to apologize when he found her.

Itachi's first destination was the ramen stand. As he pushed back the curtain to the stand, the father gasped. He had seen Itachi's page in the bingo book. His daughter, however, blushed. There were hardly any cute ninja in Tea Country.

"Have you seen a girl come here this afternoon? Gray hair, purple eyes, about this height..." Itachi asked. The father stayed petrified and stared at him, but Itachi didn't have the time. "What?" His voice came out harsh.

A drop of sweat slid down the father's face.

"Y-you were in that book..." Itachi perked up immediately. He couldn't mean..

"Tell me more." Itachi practically snarled the words, and more sweat dripped down the poor man's face.

"T-the man that came in... He talked with the g-g-gray haired girl and showed her your picture in a book... Then she tried to leave, but h-he picked her up and t-threw her over his shoulder." Itachi's suspicions were confirmed. The guards from earlier had identified him and were trying to find him. He mentally slapped himself for not taking up a different likeness upon entering the village. A messenger bird was probably halfway from Tea Country to Konoha already... He grabbed the man by the shoulders.

"Which way did they go?" The man, too afraid to speak and stunned by the sudden contact, collapsed on the floor. How disappointing. Itachi pinched the bridge of his nose and turned to his blushing daughter. "How about you? Do you know?" With a trembling hand, she pointed to the right before taking her place beside her father on the floor. Itachi sighed and left the stand to ask around for the whereabouts of the village's headquarters. After a couple more stuttering fainters and a visit to the dango stand, he recieved news that the headquarters were located in the far right of the village, near its east wall.

Itachi arrived like any normal person would. He walked casually up to the building where two guards were stationed, munching on his second dango (with six left to go). He activated his Mangekyo Sharingan and looked into the mens' eyes.

"Where is she?" The guards blanched as they fell under his hypnotism.

"In the last room to the left."

"Thank you." He sped out of the room before his jutsu was deactivated. The first guard blinked, looking to the other one.

"Was he just eating a dango?"

The building was swarming with guards, so Itachi henged into one and sped by unnoticed. It was surprising how easily people could be fooled.

The guard at the door gave him a small frown as he looked him over.

"I don't remember seeing you around... Are you n-" Itachi delivered a swift chop his neck before the man's sentence was finished and opened the door.

His breath hitched as he saw Murasaki. She was out cold in some kind of imprisonment jutsu, as there were tendrils made out of soil around her waist. He rushed over to free her, reaching his hand out, but not before two senbon needles whistled past his ear. His eye twitched. He didn't feel like getting into a fight, much less killing anyone... Frowning, he turned around and saw one of the guards from the gate.

"Well. It looks like you finally decided to show up, Uchiha Itachi." Itachi wordlessly pulled out his third dango(the second being eaten on his way around the building) and started to munch.

And he continued to munch as he kicked the guy's ass.

Murasaki in tow, he left the building as quickly as he could for the hotel. There was packing to be done, and no time to waste.

/-At the Hokage's office-/

"Itachi did _what_?" The Third Hokage's eyes bugged out of his head as the details of what had taken place in Tea Country were explained to him. He slowly chewed on his stick. For as long as he had known, Itachi was the best prodigy in Konoha, and one of his most trusted ANBU. It brought him to tears when he heard of the crime he committed, and his desertion of the Leaf. Itachi was on a kill-on-sight list now.

And he was completely unpredictable.

The Third had no idea why he had gone through so much trouble just to retrieve a girl. The last he heard, Itachi traveled alone. But knowing his cunning, there was a good reason to it.

He feared for the Konoha's safety.

And that was why he was going to kill Itachi.

The third looked up the the two ANBU in front of him.

"Your mission is to find and kill Uchiha Itachi. You may have problems with the kunoichi he has with him, but I doubt she's up to his level. He was last seen in Tea Country, and by now, he could be anywhere in that region. This is an S-rank mission. Be careful." The two Anbu nodded, and the Third let out a long sigh. "Now, go. Time is of the essence."

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

The two shinobi dispersed with a poof, leaving the Third to stew in his own thoughts.

_Itachi... I hope I made the right choice..._

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**Like I've previously stated, I _do_ know the real reasons that Itachi killed his clan and deserted the village. I just changed them for this story's sake. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this!**

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_**Ne- Hey**_

_**Konnichiwa- Hello**_


	6. Encounter

**Chapter 4: Encounter**

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Murasaki slowly opened her eyes to see a blurry figure hovering over her, munching on something. She blinked. Itachi was gazing down at her with impassive eyes, though it could have been her imagination when she saw them soften for hardly a moment. He was halfway through a dango, and when Murasaki glanced next to him, she noticed a small pile of dango sticks. She gasped and sat straight up.

"How many of those have you had?" He took another bite before answering her.

"Thirty-two." Her jaw hung open for a few seconds as she saw him shamelessly inhale the treat. The boy had a terrible case of the munchies. "I've been living off of them since you've been unconscious." The purple-eyed girl massaged her temples.

"You know, if I had any doubts about you being crazy before, they're gone now. How long have I been unconscious?" He checked his watch.

"Twenty-six hours, forty-two minutes and three seconds." Her eyes widened. For more than twenty-four hours. Looking around, she noticed that it was nighttime. Itachi wasn't dumb enough to start a fire, so she used the moonlight to see his facial expression. He looked fatigued. Noticing her gaze, he explained. "I've been carrying you over my shoulder for the entire day. We're nearing the Land of the Waves a lot faster than I expected, although I'm sure the ANBU and hunter-nin are on our trail." She nodded. Her thoughts turned sour at the thought of being taken back to The Land of the Waves having not completed her mission. And she didn't like being told where to go. She realized with a smirk that her chakra network was now fully-healed... She had a chance of escaping.

But Itachi had seemingly realized that too.

Down where her hands should have been were two, completely bandaged appendages. She couldn't form jutsu.

"Hey! What did you do to my hands?" Itachi shrugged.

"I can't risk you retaliating. I'm tired. As fun as it would be, I don't feel like kicking your ass for a second time." She glared at him, annoyed by his calm, blunt demeanor. She would show him...

"Well, then how am I supposed to eat?" Itachi took out another dango and held it in front of her face.

"I'll feed you." A vein grew on Murasaki's forehead. That... wasn't... food...

She smacked it away with her bandaged hand and saw Itachi's eyes widen-a rare display of emotion.

"I'm not eating that... That _shit_! You're going to get fat if you keep eating those damn dango!" He calmly picked the fallen dango off the forest floor, wiped it off, and took a bite. Murasaki grimaced.

"You could have found another way to inform me that you didn't like dango." Murasaki would have facepalmed if her hands weren't wrapped.

"I do, it's just... When was the last time you've had real food, Itachi-chan?" Itachi used all of his willpower to prevent his eye from twitching. It seemed like his nickname was going to stick.

"Two days ago." Murasaki sighed, starting to get up. Itachi was alarmed.

"Where are you going?" She answered him as she stepped out of the clearing.

"To get us some real food, Itachi-chan." Itachi itched to get out of his seat on the ground, to see what she meant, but instead he just made a shadow clone and ordered it to follow her.

The shadow clone watched as Murasaki angrily walked up to multiple trees, putting her ear up to them, listening. When she found one she liked, she walked sideways up the tree and disappeared through the branches. It was silent for a few seconds, but soon a loud, bloodcurdling screech was to be heard. It wasn't human. The clone covered its ears. What was she doing up there?

She walked down the tree, seemingly satisfied, with a large bird thrashing and squawking in her arms. She didn't seem to mind in the least. The farther down the tree she got, the more agitated the bird seemed to get. It was screaming bloody murder by the time she was down. As she continued to carry it, the clone saw the bird peck Murasaki on her forehead. A lone dribble of blood slid down her face. She scowled, rubbing her head, mumbling about "little fuckers" before taking the fat pidgeon and slamming it as hard as she could into the tree trunk. The clone cringed as a series of pained caws erupted from her area, each getting weaker and weaker after each hit. He felt sorry for the bird.

Finally, there were no more shrieks. The bird hung limp in her bandaged hands. She sighed, carrying the bird over her shoulder before she started to walk away. The clone dispersed.

A drop of sweat slid down Itachi's face at the realization of what Murasaki had done. He wasn't so sure he wanted to eat a bird killed with such brutality... He shook his head. He really wasn't in the position to judge the killings of others.

Itachi heard a few more screams, human ones this time, before Murasaki came out of the bushes with the dead bird featherless, stuffed and covered in what seemed to be spices. She carried various utensils and a pot. Itachi wasn't sure he wanted to know where she got the things from, so he didn't ask. He watched with interest, still munching on a dango, as she used her bandaged appendages to maneuver the pigeon inside. The only person he had ever watched cook before was his mother.

Murasaki turned to look at him, eye twitching, when she noticed the dango in his mouth. He had no self control...

"I'M GOING TO USE ALL YOUR DANGO STICKS TO SKEWER YOUR FAT ASS IF YOU DON'T STOP EATING THOSE DAMN THINGS!" Itachi stopped mid-chew and stared at her, trying hard to maintain his impassive cover. Inside, he was alarmed. The girl didn't seem like the type to make empty threats, and dango sticks were threateningly pointy. Should he... stop eating his dango? It would ultimately be for the best. But he was too addicted to stop so suddenly. And it cost money.

Itachi looked straight at Murasaki, lifted his dango, and took a bite. A red vein popped up on her forehead.

"Fine, don't eat this pigeon I worked hard to kill. Be happy and fat with your stupid dango..." She trailed off, continuing to mumble about fatasses and ungrateful bastards as she rubbed together wood for a fire. The food was cooked twenty minutes later and Itachi watched as she ate half of it with a hungry zeal, mumbling an almost incoherent goodnight before pulling into her sleeping bag. She fell asleep not long afterwards.

Itachi's stomach grumbled and a drop of sweat slid down the back of his neck as he stole a glance at the food. He couldn't deny it; he wanted some. The curiosity of what it would taste like bugged him to no end.

But what would she do if she found out that he ate the rest?

Itachi shook his head. He would only take a little taste; she would never notice. He silently walked over to the food before he could change his mind.

Murasaki slowly opened her eyes, annoyed to hear smacking, munching sounds. She didn't need to be woken up at the middle of the night... A raccoon had probably gotten into the pigeon. Slowly turning around, she froze, shocked as to what she saw. Itachi was hunched over the food, ravenously shoving it into his mouth. Ravenously was an understatement. His loud, guttural eating noises had woken her up. She would have laughed out loud if she hadn't been so surprised. He ate it unbelievably quickly. Even faster than he ate dango...

Sensing that he was being watched, Itachi whipped his head around to find Murasaki wide awake and staring. His eyebrows hit the roof. Shit... How could he explain this? His cheeks started to burn.

"I... uh... was hungry." Her lips curved into a knowing smirk.

"Whatever. Goodnight, Itachi-chan." Itachi frowned, shooting her his signature Uchiha glare before bedding down himself. He didn't care if she was worth millions of yen- he would murder her slowly and painfully with the help of his Mangekyo Sharingan if she ever used that nickname in front of anyone else.

"Goodnight, Murasaki-san."

The two dozed off, each unaware of the shinobi carefully tracking their path.

The morning brought fresh sunshine and lots of breeze. Itachi snapped his eyes open as the sun made its first appearance, instantly aware of his surroundings. The ghost of a grin adorned his face when he smelled the beautiful, fresh scents that the wind carried.

But moments like this in a shinobi's life didn't last long.

He had a feeling that something bad enough to put a damper on his good mood would happen later. In fact, he knew it would. But he would make his life as smooth as possible until that point. Picking up one of his last dango, he shook Murasaki awake. Her eyes opened slowly and groggily, and as usual, it captivated Itachi to stare into their purple depths. But she didn't need to know that.

"God... What time is it?" She got up, fixing her messed-up hair at an unbelievably slow rate because of her bandaged hands.

"Time to leave." Murasaki sighed. She didn't want to leave... She wanted to enjoy her life of freedom for longer. But there was no point in resisting. She had accepted the fact that she would be taken back to her homeland, how ever depressing it was.

Besides... Although she would never admit it, she kind of enjoyed Itachi's companionship.

"Ok. Let's go."

Murasaki (begrudgingly) ate Itachi's last dango for breakfast and they departed. The world seemed to fly by. The landscape around them changed from a lush forest to a choppy sea as they neared The Land of the Waves. Itachi was somewhat relieved at the speed they were going, but something didn't feel right to him. He could vaguely sense the chakra signatures of a somewhat... perverted young man and an even younger man behind them, and he didn't like it. Something told him they were familiar.

Murasaki turned to Itachi to see him tense and stop running completely. She followed suit, shooting Itachi a worried look.

"What's wr-" She started, but was cut off by Itachi's emotionless tone.

"Kakashi, Tenzou, I'm disappointed that we have to meet on these terms."

Two young men appeared in front of the teenage pair and took off their ANBU masks. One had thick, silver hair that stood straight up and a mask on that covered his face. His hitai-ate was tied diagonally over his left eye, and he had a carefree, lazy aura about him. The other looked a bit more serious. He had short brown hair and dark, scary, oval-shaped eyes. Murasaki had a feeling that there was more to him than it looked like.

The silver-haired man spoke up.

"Kohai, we have been ordered to assassinate you. I'm sorry, but we can't let you go any further. Or your friend." Itachi slid out his katana, the tomoe in his eyes spinning dangerously, and slashed the bonds on Murasaki's hands. They fell to the water in ribbons. Murasaki's eyes widened and she was about to speak, but Itachi yet again cut her off.

"These men were my contemporaries. The silver-haired man has great skill in ninjutsu and a Sharingan. The brown-haired man is proficient in the Wood Style." Murasaki raised an eyebrow.

"Wood st-"

"You'll find out what I mean."

The purple-eyed girl sighed. So now, she was being forced to fight Itachi's enemies. At this rate, she wouldn't have been surprised if Ashton Kutcher popped out of the water and declared that she was being Punk'd... But nevertheless, she pulled out her tanto and got into position. If she wasn't fighting to save Itachi's sorry ass, she was fighting to save hers.

"Murasaki-san, I have Kakashi. You get Tenzou." Murasaki nodded solemnly.

The four shinobi faced off for what they knew would be a long fight.

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**Hope y'all enjoyed that! If you guys ever wonder when I'll update, I always have a status posted on my profile page. That being said, here are some definitions.**

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**Tenzou- Yamato's ANBU name.**

**Tanto- A shorter katana, or, in a sense, a dagger. Sort of. Just look up a picture.**

**Tomoe- The things around the iris in Sharingan eyes that spin.**

**Kohai- Opposite of senpai. While senpai loosely means mentor/more experienced person, kohai means pupil/less experienced person.**

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**Anyways, you guys are the best. Thanks for reading!**


	7. Battle

**Sorry! Accidentally deleted while trying to edit. Here it is again.**

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**Chapter 5: Battle**

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Murasaki marveled at the feeling of being able to use her hands. Though they were sore and she was badly out of practice, she could still form jutsu, and that was what mattered.

Itachi watched, bored as Kakashi lifted headband, revealing his single Sharingan eye. It seemed like he wasn't playing any games. He sighed. At any point in time, he could unveil his Mangekyo Sharingan and burn him to a blackened crisp with his Amaterasu, but he didn't want to kill his former senpai. In fact, if he had his way, he wouldn't be fighting Kakashi at all. He wanted the battle to be clean and quick.

Activating his Mangekyo, Itachi prepared to use Tsukuyomi on his former partner.

Kakashi smirked underneath his mask. He wasn't born yesterday. Years of working and training with his kohai taught him that it almost positively meant death to look into the boy's eyes. Years of working and training with his kohai also taught him that Itachi was too fast to be predicted with his Sharingan. What would he do? He needed Tenzou, but unfortunately, he was busy with Itachi's female counterpart. Kakashi looked over to see the girl barely dodging his wooden projectile. He smirked. Maybe the battle would be over sooner than he thought.

But for now, he needed to distract Itachi. And he knew just how to do it.

Itachi blanched as he felt Kakashi's chakra signature behind him. How had he disappeared so quickly?

"A Thousand Years of Death!" Kakashi charged Itachi with his fingers aimed in a rather uncomfortable spot. He grinned as he felt his fingers hit flesh, but frowned a second later when Itachi's body dispersed, leaving crows to fly away in the air. A drop of sweat slid down the back of his neck. He was just too tricky...

Itachi re-materialized from the crows' gathering back in his previous spot, his face impassive.

"You're going to have to try harder than that to kill me, senpai."

Murasaki was sick and tired of dodging Tenzou's jutsu. She didn't want to kill him. She didn't even want to hurt him.

So why was he trying to do both to her? She sighed. Killing him was out of the question- she would be automatically listed as a missing-nin, and that was the last thing she wanted. So what could she do?

She pondered that question, barely dodging yet another sharp tendril of wood. Where was Ashton Kutcher when you needed him?

/-In our universe-/

Ashton Kutcher sat in his office, doing what ever Ashton Kutcher did in his spare time, when his secretary walked into the room.

"Mr. Kutcher? You've just missed another one of your appointments." He looked up.

"Damnit! I have to be fucking everywhere at once..."

/-Back to Naruto World-/

With a shake of her head, Murasaki decided that it was a question for another day and that there was a far more pressing situation at hand. She would simply keep him occupied until Itachi was done with his fight.

Murasaki formed six hand seals, ending on tiger.

"Water Style: House of Illusions!"

A splashing sound was heard as giant waves shot up to create a water-made enclosure. Tenzou jumped, trying to retreat as soon as he heard the call, but instead of jumping into the open air outside, he felt his face collide with a cold, wet surface. He bounced off and hit the floor with a thud, crumpling into a pained heap on the floor. Black dots spotted his line of vision, slowly growing in number until everything turned black.

Murasaki smirked at the unconscious ANBU. She had expected a lot more... If an idiot like that could become an ANBU, then maybe a ninja of her skill could be one too. She smiled at the thought, but her smile turned into a frown when a thought crossed her mind.

Or maybe Konoha's ANBU just sucked.

Murasaki wasn't sure which thought was right, but she wished fervently for the first. Her hopes and dreams depended on it.

But hopes and dreams could wait. Now, she thought with a smile, was showtime. Glancing at Tenzou, she chuckled to herself before reaching down and picking his mask off the floor. Stupid, stupid ANBU...

With a single hand seal, she henged into the fallen man and slipped on the mask.

She had a plan to save Itachi's sorry ass.

(/)

The fight dragged on longer than any other Itachi could remember. The Uchiha wasn't a fan of long fights- he would rather use his time for more productive things, like searching for dango coupons or finding the Akatsuki base. But long fights were pointless.

A very rare thing was happening to Itachi.

He was getting annoyed.

Kakashi's tactics were very, very aggravating. The Copy Ninja could read Itachi's movements with more ease than he could skim through his Icha Icha books. Itachi's nose wrinkled. He wouldn't even get started on that subject. His former comrade's dirty habit would be the death of him one day...

The lines under Itachi's eyes grew more stern as he dodged a would-have-been-fatal blow from Kakashi's Chidori. He had to take Kakashi seriously- he was never going to win the fight distracted by his thoughts. All he wanted was a quick, clean finish. The "burn Kakashi to a crisp" option was starting to look more appealing every second, but he hated to kill unless it was necessary. In fact, he had been trying very hard not to fight his old senpai. Kakashi just wouldn't let up. He took his job as a Konoha ANBU very seriously, as it seemed.

But was he serious enough to kill his old comrade?

Itachi frowned, deactivating his Mangekyo Sharingan. He could play this game all day, but he had things to do. Places to be.

And Kakashi was really eating up his time.

The game of cat and mouse had gone on long enough. It was time for Kakashi to witness the true power of the Uchiha.

Kakashi froze as Itachi's voice carried across the water, but he dared not look into the boy's eyes.

"You are really lowering my expectations for Konoha shinobi, senpai. I am ashamed to have fought this long with another Sharingan user and not won." Kakashi narrowed his eyes. What was he playing at? This was definitely a strange battle strategy. "Your mastery is pitiful. Horrid. In fact, it is so awful, I think I ought to kill you, Hatake Kakashi," He lifted his hand, pointing one finger at Kakashi, "just for subjecting me to such torture."

A drop of sweat slid down the back of Kakashi's neck. He knew something was up. Itachi wasn't one to talk, unless absolutely necessary, and his subject had been... strange. Even Kakashi's analytical brain couldn't figure out what he had just done. Why did he point at him? Something was definitely wrong... But he didn't want to wait to find out what was. Straining his Sharingan eye, the silver-haired man looked at Itachi, who was standing still on the water.

It was almost as if he was... waiting to be attacked.

Brushing the thought out of his head, he rationalized. This could be his only chance to kill his kohai with a Chidori through the heart, and he wasn't about to waste it. Quick as lightning, he charged up his arm and sprinted towards him.

The only warning Kakashi had was the sly grin on Itachi's face before he poofed away, leaving crows to fly away in his midst. Kakashi was thoroughly shocked. How was that possible? He hadn't seen him make a shadow clone...

The crows that had flown out of Itachi's spot were now hovering in the air above his head, flying in circles around him.

"You should really be more observant, senpai." What? Where was Itachi's voice coming from? His answer came when an especially large crow flew down and perched on Kakashi's arm, still outstretched from the Chidori. "It seems that Konoha shinobi are more pitiful than I thought." The voice came straight from the crow's large beak. Kakashi's eyes widened. He had been very careful not to get trapped in a genjutsu... How had he been bested by his younger opponent?

_Shit_... Kakashi tried to release it, but when he opened his eyes, the crow was still on his arm, red eyes staring right into his.

"H-how?"

"I don't need eye contact to initiate genjutsu. All I need is a finger. And don't try to release it, it won't work. Don't worry, Kakashi-kun. I can't use my Mangekyo right now." Kakashi frowned.

"What do you mean?" The crow-Itachi's red, sharingan eyes narrowed.

"It's none of your business. Go to sleep, Kakashi." Kakashi fought fiercely as he felt a wave of lethargy wash over him. He wasn't going to give in to his kohai's genjutsu. It was all fake- all of it. But it felt so real...

Maybe sleep wouldn't hurt. Maybe a little nap would make him feel better... NO!

He knew that Itachi was inserting the thoughts into his mind, but he wouldn't give in. Multiple sweat drops slid down the back of his neck and he fought to keep it together. He had no idea how to continue in this fight.

The crow-Itachi spoke again.

"Not going to sleep, Kakashi? Suit yourself." Kakashi felt the weight of the heavy bird leave his arm, but he still couldn't move. Suddenly, he felt deep, throbbing pain in his arms and legs and looked down to see multiple kunai embedded in his flesh. He screamed in agony.

This was all fake... all of it...

He was brought out of his thoughts by a ripping, tearing sensation in half of his face. His skin felt like it was being torn off to expose the raw muscle underneath. Yet again, he cried out. What was going on?

The water beneath him swelled up to create a mirror-like surface and he gasped when he realized what had happened.

Kakashi's face was split down the middle- one side of his face being his, and the other belonging to his first, true best friend: Uchiha Obito.

Obito's lips started to move.

"Kakashi... why... didn't... you save... me..." Kakashi struggled to keep his composure. It sounded just like Obito too... But it was an illusion. Just an illusion.

Obito's face, which had been frowning, morphed into a grimace and his tone was more accusing.

"Why, Kakashi? Why? Why didn't you? You could have prevented it if you came earlier! I don't think you deserve my eye." A tear slid down his cheek and onto the mask. Why did this genjutsu... have to be so right?

But it was all fake...

Kakashi swallowed the urge to cry out as he felt the sensation of his stomach being torn open. A new mass, forming the shape of a head, pointed up to look at him. He gasped when its face began to take shape.

It was Rin, the other member of Team Minato. Her face was twisted into a grimace as she spoke.

"Obito is right! You don't deserve his eye!" Obito's half face grinned maniacally.

"GIVE IT BACK!" Kakashi didn't have any time to react before he felt the sensation of his Obito-half control his arm, violently digging its fingers into his eye socket. The pain... was so real...

He knew that Obito or Rin would never do anything like this- Itachi was truly a heartless bastard.

Kakashi's Sharingan eye came out with a fierce tug and he gasped as he saw, through Obito's eye, Obito crush the eye into a bloody mass between his fingers.

He was going to throw up.

While Rin and Obito's faces were still glaring at him, Kakashi felt a now-familiar tearing sensation in his hand. What was it now?

The tear in his hand formed the shape of an eye. An unforgettable, black eye.

The eye of his father, Hatake Sakumo. A tear slid down his hand as he heard his father's low voice, seemingly coming straight from the eye.

"You didn't save your teammate, Kakashi. I expected more from my only son."

Streams of tears were now down the ninja's face. He couldn't take it any more. He just _couldn't_...

Everything turned black as he lost consciousness.

(/)

Itachi looked impassively down at the fallen shinobi. He hated to do that to a man who was once his friend, but it had been completely necessary. Suddenly, he felt a pang of sharp pain in his eyes. All of his chakra exhaustion was finally catching up to him... Intense genjutsu like that couldn't be used all the time.

He cursed as he was brought to his knees by the staggering pain and sheer exhaustion, and like Kakashi and Tenzou, took his place on the water like a fallen log.

Murasaki frowned as she surveyed the situation and took off her mask. She henged back into herself with a hand seal. Itachi was on the water, knocked out, just like Kakashi. Damn, she didn't even get to implement her "pretend you were Tenzou and defeat Kakashi" plan. What happened?

Did this mean she could run away?

A grin lit up her face, but it was just as quickly wiped away as guilt overtook her. She took a look at Itachi. He had never really done anything to hurt her... In fact, he did the opposite, feeding her, saving her from crazy town officials.. He was actually tolerable.

More than tolerable.

She liked his company.

And if she left him on the water, like he was, Kakashi and Tenzou would undoubtedly wake up and finish him off. Murasaki wasn't a saint, but she knew it would be wrong to let him await his death on a watery bed...

Running over and picking him up, she grunted in exertion. Itachi obviously hadn't been listening to her advice about eating dango, but that couldn't be helped. She looked over her current situation, shaking her head at no one in particular. She was a walking contradiction. A prisoner carrying her captor to safety. She would probably regret her actions when Itachi woke up, but she still had quite a bit of time before then.

The Land of the Waves was only about two kilometers north, but that wasn't where she wanted to go. Itachi would surely be trapped and gutted like a fish, she would be charged with the harboring of and S-ranked criminal. Not to mention the severe ear damage that would become hers, due to her parents. Murasaki grinned. She liked this newfound freedom.

Eventually, she decided to take a roundabout route west, trying to skim the border of Fire Country north to get to Kumo. She wasn't bold enough to get within four hundred kilometers of the Konoha. There was sure to be a high price on Itachi's head everywhere in the shinobi world. She sighed. Why was she doing this? She could be at home, happily munching on some fried rice while Itachi was slaughtered by his former teammates.

But deep down, she knew that would never happen. Her conscience wouldn't let it.

She really was too nice, but it couldn't be helped. Sighing again, she looked at Itachi's motionless face. He looked a lot more peaceful when he was knocked out. The intense expression on his face was gone- well, almost. For some reason, he still looked slightly alert. It surprised her that someone who always wore the expression of homicidal jackass could still be very attractive at the same time. He definitely wasn't harsh on the eyes, that was for sure..

A drip of blood slid down Murasaki's nostril and she slapped mentally herself for letting her thoughts go down that path. That wouldn't happen again... hopefully.

She was interrupted from her thoughts by the light sound of someone paddling across the water. She whipped her head around to see who it was, and when she did, her eye twitched. What the...

Upon being seen, the man looked up and gave Murasaki a movie-star smile.

"Hey! I'm Ashton Kutcher, and you've been officially Pun-UMPH" Murasaki slapped him across the face so hard that the spit flew out his mouth.

"You're late." The man rubbed his cheek, looking dejected, and paddled away.

With one last look at the man in the kayak, she decided that she was done wasting time. It was time to leave. She launched towards Fire Country, leaving her hometown behind.

* * *

**How was that?**

**Good?**

**Terrible?**

**Awesome?**

**In the middle?**

**Tell me!**

**I always love to know when someone's reading, so don't be afraid to review! Like I stated in the last chapter, a status detailing my projected update day/progress is always on my profile page, if you're curious.**

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_**Tsukuyomi- A Mangekyo Sharingan genjutsu technique in which the user can torture their victim for what feels like days, but is actually only seconds. Very physically taxing.**_

_**A Thousand Years of Death- The jutsu where Kakashi uh... Tries to stick his fingers up his victim's rear end.**_

_**Kohai- While senpai loosely means mentor/more experienced person, kohai means pupil/less experienced person. **_

_**Senpai- See above definition.**_

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**Hope that clears things up. Bye! :)**


	8. Don't Touch the Weasel's Hair

**What time is it? New chapter time! Hehe.**

**Well, here's a new chapter; I hope you like it!**

**Chapter 6: Don't Touch the Weasel's Hair**

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_Tug._

_Tug, tug._

_Tuuuuuug._

"Ow!" Itachi woke up with a stern Uchiha glare, cradling his pained scalp like a baby. Someone had been messing with his hair...

He whipped his head around to find Murasaki, who upon being seen, hid her hands behind her back like a guilty culprit. She gave Itachi a nervous smile and a laugh, but he wasn't having it. Itachi wasn't dumb. Though, before opening his mouth, he looked around. The landscape was much, much different than it was when he had last woke up, with lush green forests and beautiful wildlife. Was he in... Fire Country? His deft mind strategically formed questions based on his current situation.

1. Where was he?

2. What happened to him while he was knocked out?

3. Why did his lips taste like strawberries?

4. Where were his dango coupons?

5. What was Murasaki holding behind her back?

6. Lastly, and also most importantly, why was he in Fire Country?

Deciding that the fifth question was most urgent, he turned to the purple-eyed girl with a glare.

"What's behind your back?" She fidgeted, blushing, and held the mystery object closer.

"Er... um..." Itachi's eye twitching was the only warning she got before he wrenched her arms from behind her back, causing a camera and a hairbrush to fall on the forest floor. His eyes slowly widened as he took in the two items, and instinctively, he looked around the campsite.

Beauty products were everywhere. What was Murasaki doing to him?

Itachi gulped before slowly looking down at his fingernails, scared of what he'd see.

What he saw would have made any grown man run for the hills.

Right where his nice, clear fingernails used to be where... abominations. And they were painted a dark purple.

Itachi paled, taking short, shallow breaths, before made a beeline for Murasaki's camera. What did the rest of him look like? But before he could grasp the camera and frantically look through the pictures, a kunai was at his throat.

"No. You can't see the pictures, Itachi-chan. I'll show them to you... when I'm done." Itachi paled an even whiter white.

"Done with what?" The only answer he got was a closed-eye grin before he was yanked down into the sitting position. Before he could yell at her, or even throw her another glare, Murasaki had picked up the hairbrush and was brushing through his hair. Itachi gasped.

"Ow! Stop! What are you doing?"

"Brushing your hair, Itachi-chan. I started while you were asleep, but then you woke up." Itachi soured at the thought. So that was the pain in his scalp that had woken him up. What other abominations had she forced on him in his sleep?

Letting out a guttural growl, Itachi turned around to face Murasaki. A sweat drop slid down her neck as the intensity of his killing intent showed through his eyes. Had she gone too far?

"Don't. Touch. My. Hair." He anunciated every syllable with clarity and no mistakes. Murasaki sighed in relief. For a second there, she thought he would use one of his Katon jutsus to turn her into a slab of charcoal. A smirk found its way to her lips as she thought of a way to annoy him.

"Why? Is it because you just got it done at the salon?" Itachi's eye twitched. He was very, very tempted to activate his Mangekyo Sharingan and send Murasaki into the fiery pits of hell with Amaterasu, but he knew that it would be completely unreasonable. Though it would be fun.

"No. No one touches my hair." She pouted, pursing her lips together. Itachi couldn't deny it- it made her look cute. And that was a big deal for him to admit, even internally... He wasn't the type to dish out compliments to girls.

"Please?" The silver-haired girl grinned inwardly as she was Itachi's eyes soften, if only just a little- and she could have imagined it- but was there a faint blush on his cheeks? It could have been the blush that she had powdered onto him in his sleep... Or maybe Itachi was actually human. The thought made her grin.

"Hn." Murasaki squealed happily and started to brush his hair. Itachi sighed. What was it with girls and his hair? Back in Konoha, nobody could keep their hands off of it. He was starting to think that his hair was the only thing that made him attractive.

Meanwhile, Murasaki tugged and pulled. Brushing was a lost cause- the brush kept getting stuck. Itachi grunted in pain with every stroke, regretting his decision. Damn Murasaki and her pouty lips..

At a point, Murasaki stopped and huffed.

"Itachi-chan, tell me the truth. When was the last time you combed your hair?"

"The last time I put it into a ponytail." Murasaki frowned. In all the days that she had been traveling with him, she hadn't once seen him put his hair into a ponytail.

"And when was the last time you put your hair into a ponytail?"

"On my sixth birthday." If Itachi had been facing the other way, he would have seen the girl's retracting arm before her palm came crashing down on the side of his face. Itachi touched the side of his face gingerly. He had never been... slapped, before. The girl had a good arm.

"What was that for?"

"For not taking care of your long, beautiful hair. Now turn around, I'm trying a different style." Glaring at Murasaki with angry, dark eyes, he complied. He was glad he did almost immediately.

She was kneeling down in front of him, leaning inward so she could do whatever she was doing to the front of his hair. She obviously didn't see the position she was putting him in.

Her breasts, which Itachi noted (with a nosebleed that was quickly wiped away), were quite ample, were barely a foot away from his face. And her breastplate fell a minuscule amount every time she bent over.. He groaned in frustration, causing Murasaki to glance down at him with curiosity. This was torture. It was at times like this that he wished he could use the Byakugan...

Itachi blushed(he was doing that a lot lately) as he felt an uninvited guest invade his boxers.

Thank Kami for baggy shinobi pants.

Murasaki put down her brush to admire her handiwork and snickered. It was perfect.

"OK, all done."

She snapped a picture of him with her camera before proudly handing a mirror to Itachi. Itachi stared at the mirror with an expression as close to fear as his face would ever move. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know what he looked like.. He didn't get the chance to make up his mind, because noticing his hesitance, Murasaki shoved the mirror in his face and laughed.

_Oh, God..._

"W-what?"

His face. His face. His... masculinity. Itachi couldn't stop repeating those words in his mind. His lips, as slight as they were, were covered in a shiny red gloss. The tear troughs he had inherited from his father were gone.. He was quite proud of those tear troughs. And now they were gone. Covered by concealer. With a start, he realized that the edges of his cheeks were the slightest tinge of pink, and when he touched them, powder came off on his fingers. She'd even used blush... No part of his face was safe. Not even his eyes. She had used mascara to define his already-long eyelashes..

His horror-stricken eyes moved up slightly to see his hair, and he paled. He was vaguely aware of Murasaki rolling on the ground, laughing uncontrollably in front of him. The bangs on the sides of his face were still where they had always been (thank God) but thanks to the extensive brushing hat had taken place, the rest of his hair looked fuller and longer and was piled into two Chinese buns on the sides of his head.

By now, Murasaki was out of breath on the floor.

"Itachi-chan... hahaha!"

Itachi snarled, turning around to glare at her with menace in his eyes. Murasaki shivered from the killing intent in his stern Uchiha gaze. He glared so deeply that his tear troughs showed.

"Take it off." Murasaki's only answer was to take out her camera, between guffaws, and with her quick ninja hands, snap a multitude of pictures. Itachi's eyes narrowed.

In a flash he was chasing her through the forest. He had only one intent. He was going to kill her. And then smash her camera into little, tiny, unrepiecable pieces.

Itachi didn't notice in all his anger that the ponytail holders were falling out of his hair because of the speed they were going at, or that the concealer was literally flying off his face. If he did, he would have stopped running once they got to a small farm town.

But that was not the case.

He chased Murasaki through the bustling main streets, stirring up a plume of dust in his wake. Citizens gaped. They had never witnessed the speed of an S-ranked criminal before. Murasaki stole a glance at the angry Uchiha and snickered. Now that his hair was down, he really, honestly looked like a girl!

She didn't get the chance to finish laughing at that thought, because at that moment, she tripped over a fallen mango and fell flat on her back. She groaned in pain. What sort of dumbass left mangoes on the ground anyway?

Itachi, who had seen the whole incident but was unable to control his speed, tripped over the same mango and fell on top of Murasaki. He groaned in pain also. Banana peels were overrated... tripping over a mango was worse. His whole body felt like shit. Groaning again, he opened his eyes.

His eyebrows hit the ceiling.

Itachi was straddling Murasaki's waist, and his hands had somehow found themselves under Murasaki's mesh shirt. They were dangerously close to her chest. Way too close to her chest. Itachi could feel his "unwanted guest" creeping up again.

Why, God? Why him?

He mentally slapped himself. Of course, he was being punished for murdering his clan. Nothing else would explain this sort of torture...

Murasaki gasped as she noticed the position they were in. Slowly, she became aware of the many eyes on her and Itachi- tight lipped mothers glaring at them, covering their children's eyes, men with nosebleeds, and...

"LESBIAN PORN! AND IT"S FREE!" The two teens looked up to see an old man with spiky, long hair frantically jotting down notes in a notepad. There was a thin stream of blood flowing out of his nose and a slight glaze of her his eye as he mumbled "research... must research..."

Itachi scowled, pushing himself away from his compromising position. As if sexual frustration wasn't enough. God really _was_ trying to punish him, wasn't he?

Itachi slowly turned his head around to face the old man, desperately trying to prevent his eye from twitching.

"Do I look like a girl to you?" The old man started to study Itachi lecherously, but stopped dead as he noticed that the "lesbian" was a boy. The look of interest grew to one of surprise as he noticed the boy's unmistakable features. The long, black hair, the deep pronounced tear troughs... If the pervert hadn't been so distracted, he would have known at once that the boy was Uchiha Itachi.

The old man crossed his arms and put away his notepad and pen, surprising both the teens. He cleared his throat, suddenly looking very serious, and focused his vision on Itachi.

"When were you planning to change out of that disguise? Not that I want you to. I must say, it's pretty convincing." The man winked. Itachi was just a hand's twitch away from pulling out his katana and chopping the old pervert into tiny, finely-sliced pieces when he realized who the man was. His eyes widened in shock. The traditional Japanese clothing, the multiple scrolls on his back, the unbelievably large chakra signature... Itachi soured as he wondered how "distracted" he had been not to notice it.

The man in front of them was Jiraiya, the Toad Sannin.

And if his power was as Konoha's history books said it was, the man could crush him and Murasaki with more ease than he collected "research". A sweat drop slid down Itachi's neck.

But what did he want with them?

His question was answered, as if on cue.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I haven't reported you to the authorities of killed you yet. The answer is simple. I need your help." Itachi narrowed his eyes.

"With what?"

He didn't trust this man... not yet. And he wasn't very sure what the old man wanted his help with. What would a world-renowned ninja want Itachi for?

Itachi's question was answered by the lecherous grin that spread across Jiraiya's face.

"Research."

Itachi controlled his eye muscles, yet again, from twitching. It was widely known that the Jiraiya the Toad Sannin was an author of the famous Icha Icha books- the same ones that Kakashi couldn't get his nose out of. It was also widely known that Jiraiya referred to his public perving as "research". Another sweat drop slid down Itachi's neck. What had he gotten himself into?

Jiraiya spoke again.

"How about lunch? I'll tell you everything. And your..." Jiraiya gave Murasaki (who felt very, very violated) an appraising look, "friend can come too."

Having no reason to object, the three shinobi walked into a fried rice stand, from which Itachi begrudgingly ate from. Jiraiya talked in-between mouthfuls.

"Itachi-kun, I'm pretty sure that our friend, Murasaki, would agree that you're a pretty attractive guy." Itachi's face lit up. Really? He turned to Murasaki.

Murasaki, however, frowned and crossed her arms. Sure, he wasn't hard on the eyes, but she didn't need the Uchiha's ego any bigger. Jiraiya sighed. He had forgotten how stubborn kids were.

"Anyway, the point is, the Uchiha are known to be notably handsome. Which means... you're a research magnet!" Itachi grimaced. He had gotten enough attention back at Konoha... Fangirls annoyed him, especially the ones who only saw him as a figurehead- the oldest son of the Uchiha Clan leader. Itachi was eye-raped explicitly everywhere he went, and he didn't appreciate it. What Jiraiya was suggesting sounded extremely unpleasant unless there was something in it for him.

"And if I do your... 'research', then what do I gain?" Murasaki shuddered while Jiraiya grinned. She couldn't believe he was even considering this disgusting offer.

"I won't alert you to the authorities. And maybe, if I'm feeling really satisfied with your results, then I'll teach you two some cool, new jutsu." The two teens perked up, Murasaki included. Itachi's predicament suddenly didn't seem so disgusting anymore.

Itachi's lips curved upwards in a rare half-smirk. New jutsu from the Toad Sage? That would be interesting.

The two teens nodded at the same time and Jiraiya grinned. He liked these kids. And Itachi would be very productive, indeed. He gave the two a knowing smirk and pulled out his notepad and pen as he saw Itachi's eye travel down to the breastplate of Murasaki's outfit.

Ah, young, hormonal teenagers...

* * *

**I doubt you guys care about my life haha but something crazy happened to me today. I broke my window trying to get a fly -_- Let's hope my dad doesn't find out. Because if he does, he'll probably take away my laptop. Anyways, the story is going to get a _lot_ funnier from this point on. My favorite chapters are up next :) I love Jiraiya.**

**I love to know what y'all think; don't be afraid to review!**


	9. Mission: Obtain Research

**As usual, this will be dedicated to the first new reader that votes, comments, etc. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 7: Mission: Obtain Research**

* * *

Konohagakure

* * *

Dead.

They were all dead.

The whole of Konoha had mourned the Uchiha Clan Massacre, and yet the village's sympathy did nothing to soften Sasuke's heart. If there was one left. Sasuke didn't know whether he had the ability to care for anyone after Itachi had taken away everything he had known.

And for what reason? Power?

The black-clad little boy tucked his head into his shirt and sobbed, letting his teardrops soak into the material. Itachi had power all his life. Sasuke saw all of the appraising looks his older brother was given as he walked down the street, the doting, loving stares that all the village girls would shoot him. Itachi's popularity was no secret. Even his cold, unreceptive father, Fugaku, saw the clan's future in him, training him exclusively while Sasuke sat in his room. His mother's comforts were only ointment on the deep emotional wounds that Sasuke suffered. The real pain was still inside, buried deep under layers and layers of emotionless facade.

Sasuke wouldn't ever peel back the layers. Because he felt dead- he felt completely dead inside. His life was over and he was only ten years into it. Now- now there was only one objective.

He had to avenge his family.

He would kill Itachi. He would disfigure his body until his good looks were gone, to show the world what an ugly person his brother really was. Sasuke's mind bubbled with hate as he thought of what he would do to his older brother when he found him, but settled down once a realization hit him. Sasuke was only a ten-year old with barely any previous shinobi training, and it was about time he started. He needed power. Yes, that was what he needed, power...

Back at the Hokage Tower, the tone was much the same.

The Third Hokage sat, staring in shock at the slip of paper in his hand. He read it over and over again, his hands gripping the paper until his nail beds turned white.

There was no way Itachi and the unknown kunoichi could have taken out two of his top ANBU guard. There was simply no way. Kakashi and Tenzou were the best in the ANBU generation, excluding Itachi. They, together, could take down a dozen skilled jonin. The said shinobi were now in the hospital, Kakashi with a severe case of emotional trauma and Tenzou with a concussion seemingly made from contact with a blunt object. Hiruzen sighed, taking a blow out of his pipe. It would be a while, maybe weeks, before Kakashi would be able to fight again. He never thought Itachi would do something so cruel to a former teammate.

Tenzou, however, would be back in a few days. It was funny; when he had asked Tenzou how he managed to get beaten, the young man stuttered, rubbing the back of his head. The Hokage didn't push it. It was embarrassing enough getting defeated by a kunoichi at least three years younger than him, and a shinobi's pride was easily deflated.

He really needed to do something about Itachi. There were too many great Konoha shinobi going rogue. First, Orochimaru, his own pupil, going rogue in his quest for power. Now it was Uchiha Itachi, the mentally insane prodigy, going rogue in his quest for... for... Hiruzen furrowed his eyebrows in concentration. What _did_ Itachi want? He had never said. Itachi wasn't really one to talk, anyway. Child psychologists had been trying to squeeze answers out of his little brother, Sasuke, but had instead received hate-filled glares that forced them to back away. Sometimes, the ten-year old would just ignore them. The Hokage sighed, leaning back into his chair. Somewhere in there was a little boy, overwhelmed by what was happening. And more than likely, somewhere inside, there was a little boy who wanted to kill his brother.

Why did Itachi's actions have to cause so many problems for the village?

If things kept carrying on the way they were, Hiruzen would die from the unbearable amount of stress he was being put through. He was very tempted to retire, but at the same time, he felt as if the village and everything that came from it was his responsibility. If Itachi was going to stray from his path as a Konoha shinobi, he would be brought right back. He had a lot to answer for, a lot of people to apologize to. Konoha's economy had suddenly taken a plunge due to the sudden closing of all the Uchiha-owned businesses. Itachi would come back, that was for sure.

But how?

If two of his best ANBU couldn't bring back the boy, Hiruzen didn't know what could. So for now, he would wait. He would wait until Itachi came close to the Leaf, and when he did, he would be snared and dragged back to the village like an animal. He would make sure of it, if he was still alive. All of the hunter-nin would be on high alert for the last great Uchiha.

* * *

_Somewhere in Fire Country_

* * *

Jiraiya ushered a make-up free (compliments of Murasaki) and happily re-ponytailed and de-kimonoed Itachi to the edge of the street. He was now wearing a loosely fitting Uchiha symbol shirt and shinobi pants. Jiraiya turned around, looking Itachi in the eye.

"Listen up. I'm looking for a babe that looks like this, this and this," Jiraiya said, forming the figure of a gourd. He was practically salivating over the figure he had drawn. The white-haired man reached into his pocket, pulling out two sets of earbuds. "Take one. Use it to communicate with me every time you see a girl.. don't hold back, tell me..." The middle-aged man leaned in, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "EXACTLY what she looks like." Itachi was disgusted, but wisely chose to refrain from comment, nodding impassively instead. Jiraiya grinned and handed Itachi the earbuds. "Good! Now go... There is research to be done!"

Itachi walked out into the street, alert eyes immediately scanning for Jiraiya's "kind of babe". Itachi smirked. The phrase sounded so weird coming from Itachi, even in his thoughts. He had to stop thinking them. Who knew what other kind of disgusting phrases he would pick up from the pervert?

It wasn't long before Itachi caught sight of a petite redhead eating at a dango stand. Itachi forced his eyes to let out a smile as he joined her, sitting down at the booth. He stole a glance at her dango. It was mitarashi... this girl had good taste. Giving her a sweeping glance, he decided that she fit Jiraiya's description and turned to her.

"Hey." She turned to him, eyes widening in pleasant surprise as slowly looked at him from bottom to top. Her eyes lingered on his biceps before she threw him a coy smile.

"Hey, sexy." Itachi winced inwardly. He hated being eye-raped. And verbally raped. But it was worth it, to be trained. It spent all of his willpower not to glare at the girl, but to instead, plaster a fake grin onto his face. It felt weird to use his facial muscles; they weren't often used. Itachi growled into his earpiece to Jiraiya.

"This had better be worth it, pervert. She has the shape you were talking about, red hair and brown eyes." He could practically hear the blood drip down Jiraiya's nostrils.

"Good. Now bring her to the hotel!" Itachi winced at his volume, turning to the girl with a forced grin.

"Thanks, babe. So what's your name?" She twirled a lock of her cherry-colored hair around her manicured finger, leaning in.

"I'm Hatsune. And you are?"

"Itachi." The girl's eyes almost bugged out of her head and she gasped. Hearts grew in her eyes.

"Itachi? As in... UCHIHA ITACHI?"

The scream echoed across the town, and for that moment, nothing moved. The birds stopped chirping. The wind stopped blowing.

And every girl within a two-mile radius of the scream started to sprint towards the dango stand.

Itachi tried to clamp a hand over the girl's mouth, but it was too late. Before he knew what was going on, she tackled him to the ground, straddling him. Itachi's eyes widened in shock as his ears picked up the stampede of footsteps running outside of the street. How was it possible that a group of non-kunoichi girls could run so fast? He gulped, frantically pushing Hatsune of of him, and ran as fast as he could out of the booth.

But not fast enough.

"IT'S UCHIHA ITACHI!"

Jiraiya watched from a nearby tree as a terrified Itachi disappeared in a crowd of babes. His cries for help was quickly drowned out, as the girls, like a horde of horny dolphins, fought over the Uchiha boy. He was pushed in a wavelike motion into the middle of the throng.

Jiraiya smirked. The way he saw it, Itachi was lucky. If only _he_ could have had that many girls at his disposal in his youth... Well, there would be a lot more Icha Icha books. But that didn't matter. A signature perverted grin stretched across the man's face as he surveyed the scene, notepad and pen in hand. Now, he had _more_ than enough research to do...

(/)

Murasaki looked at her hands.

Multiple battles had strengthened her fingers, depriving her of the nimble, long pianist's fingers that she wanted. Though useful, she had always wanted to transform her sinewy kunoichi hands into the delicate hands of a porcelain doll. But there was no chance of that. Not with the ugly, white scars that criss-crossed her skin... Sighing, she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. Being a kunoichi was a huge sacrifice- it was virtually impossible to keep your vanity while being a great fighter at the same time.

Most of her savings went into buying kunai, explosive tags, senbon, and fixing the scratches on her tanto. But rarely... very rarely, when she was feeling expensive... She got to focus on herself.

And now was one of those times.

In exchange for keeping out of his way, Jiraiya had given Murasaki a thick stack of ryo to buy what ever she wanted, calling it "a little change". That was the most money she had ever seen in one place. At one time.

She found it hard to believe that writing those horrid porn books could rack up so much money, but seeing was believing. The silver-haired girl made a beeline straight for the bath house before Jiraiya could demand it back.

And that's where she was now.

She sighed, closing her purple eyes as the warm water loosened her muscles. The last time she had taken a good bath was weeks ago, and she was going to take full advantage of it. All she hoped was that Itachi and Jiraiya would take a while longer...

(/)

The girls dispersed, leaving Itachi twitching in the middle of the street, covered in various shades of lipstick from head to toe. Multiple holes were torn in his clothes and his hair was messed up and tangly. Jiraiya smirked and puting back his notepad and pen. He was down from the tree with a quick leap.

"Thanks, kid." The boy groaned, rolling over on his back. He hadn't felt this terrible since he had collapsed from chakra exhaustion the other day.

"Shut up, pervert." Jiraiya flashed Itachi a two-hundred killowatt smile.

"I'm not a pervert.. I'm a _super_ pervert! Get it right." Itachi shook his head, wincing slightly because of the crippling pain his muscles were in.

"No. As far as I've seen, you don't deserve to be a sannin. All I've seen you do is stare at girls' asses." A vein popped up in Jiraiya's forehead.

"I am also a world-renowned author! Icha Icha can't write itself, you know! Now onto training!" Itachi blanched. He wouldn't be able to train with this intense pain. Tsking at himself, he wondered how he had been able to hold his own against Hatake Kakashi. He couldn't even hold his own against a few crazy girls. How sad.

Speaking of crazy girls, where was Murasaki?

Jiraiya continued to speak.

"And if you're wondering where your female 'friend' is, I think I know where." A smug grin stretched across Jiraiya's lips as he noticed Itachi's expression switch from annoyed to alert. The boy was undoubtedly infatuated.

"Where?" Jiraiya's smug grin stretched even farther.

"At the bathhouse, taking an afternoon soak. Doesn't that just sound nice? I bet the water's so warm.." Jiraiya continued to warble on, but Itachi by then, Itachi had stopped paying attention. He couldn't keep his mind from wandering. What would Murasaki look like in a bathhouse? Itachi's eyes fogged over as he thought of the girl, silver hair wet, in the steaming room. He could just imagine the water creeping barely over her breasts..

Jiraiya watched, amused, as drops of blood came out of the Uchiha's nose. His suspicions were confirmed.

"Is there anything you would like to tell me, Itachi-san?" Hearing his name, the boy snapped out of his trance and wiped his nose like a guilty culprit. An array of emotions flashed across the boy's face- shock, embarrassment, and finally, a look of impassive boredom. Jiraiya had to hand it to the boy- he was pretty good at hiding emotions.

"Hn." Jiraiya narrowed his eyes and cocked his head, suddenly transforming his expression from amusement to harsh scrutiny. He folded his arms across his chest. A drop of sweat dripped down Itachi's neck. It was a little disturbing how easily the old man could change his demeanor.. But it seemed like a good skill. Itachi made a mental note to ask how.

"'Hn'? Is that disrespect I hear? Apologize before I smack those lines off your face." Itachi glared at the man.

"I don't owe you anything, pervert."

"Pervert? The last time I checked, you were the one with a nosebleed, kid." The said kid blushed slightly, mumbling a submissive "hn" before crossing his arms and turning around.

The old man grinned. "Hn" was probably the only somewhat-respectful response that he would ever be able to squeeze out of his new pupil.

"Good. Now to find your friend!"

The two shinobi set off to go to the bathhouse, Itachi traveling under a henge to prevent being flocked. Surprisingly(and secretly to Itachi's dismay), the purple-eyed kunoichi was nowhere to be seen, and(to Jiraiya's great dismay) there were no babes at all in the bathhouse. According to the owner, they had all left after finding out that Uchiha Itachi was in the town.

So where was she?

Itachi racked his brains. What would a kunoichi do with a ton of money? What did Murasaki like? These were both questions that he didn't know the answer to. And for some reason, it bothered him.

It shouldn't have. It shouldn't have at all, but it did.

Why? Itachi wasn't even supposed to be traveling with the girl. He should have dropped her off at the Land of the Waves and collected her ransom fee, like a badass Akatsuki criminal, but instead, he was... he was... _enjoying_ her presence. As much as it hurt Itachi's Uchiha pride to admit, he wouldn't have made it out alive in the battle with Kakashi and Tenzou without her help. Their relationship was pivotal in Itachi's success.

If Itachi turned back and let her go, he would probably die a brutal death by hunter-nin, or even worse... A dango overdose.

But if he kept her, who knew what would happen to him? What other terrors would await him as he woke up? Itachi blanched as he imagined waking up and looking in the mirror to see his hair dyed a bright pink. That was frightening, even for an Uchiha.

But not frightening enough to make him rethink his decision.

Itachi would keep Murasaki until he became an Akatsuki. But before that could happen, he needed to find her..

Jiraiya sighed as he watched the boy think. He knew nothing, absolutely nothing, about girls. Where did he _think_ a girl would be with a ton of money?

"Itachi-san." Itachi flinched, looking up at the old man.

"Hn."

"Where do you think your girl is right now?" Itachi colored slightly at the words.

"At the local weapons shop." Jiraiya shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You have a lot to learn about girls, kid. Now answer me a question. What would you do with a lot of money?" Itachi didn't hesitate.

"Buy dango." Jiraiya gave Itachi a double take. It was hard to believe that the stoic teenager in front of him was such an avid fan of the sweet dessert.

"O-k.. So dango is something you like. Now, think. What do girls like?" Itachi racked his brains, looking for the easiest, most efficient answer that he could provide. A light bulb went off in his head.

"Me." Jiraiya facepalmed. The boy was hopeless.

"You're not getting the point.. I'll rephrase the question. Where do girls go when they have a lot of money?" Itachi thought again.

"Grocery shopping." Jiraiya raised an eyebrow.

"You think girls _like_ grocery shopping?" Itachi's face shifted to a genuine look of confusion.

"My mother did." Jiraiya sighed hopelessly.

"No, no. Girls go shopping for jewelry and clothes when they're bored." Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"How would you know?" The old man's face broke into a lecherous grin.

"What do you think I do all day? Let's go, kid. The clothing stand is only a five-minute walk away, and you're wasting my time."

"Hn."

The two shinobi walked somewhat-awkwardly down to the clothing stand, where Jiraiya stayed outside, claiming that there was a nice breeze, but Itachi really knew that he was staring at the "babe" behind the counter. Releasing his henge, Itachi walked into the stand just in time to see a smiling Murasaki pay for two bags of clothing, turn around, and..

The smile froze on her face as she took in Itachi's lipstick-graffitied body. Her eyes widened in horror.

"Wh-what happened?" Itachi frowned.

"I don't really want to talk about it. I'm only here to bring you to Jiraiya so we can train." Giving Itachi a raised eyebrow, she dismissed the topic and walked out with him, the "babe" watching lustfully after. Murasaki sighed. She wished that she could have had more time to shop, or even time to do her nails, but she knew that there would eventually be no point. Training would just peel the nail polish right off. At least she got in a good hour in the bathhouse- a luxury for most kunoichi.

Jiraiya smiled warmly as he saw the two ninja walk outside. He was very interested in their skills as shinobi.

"Ok, let's go!" They both nodded, each giving their own answer.

"Yeah."

"Hn."

All three ninja walked into a clearing, excited (though Itachi would never admit it) for the training to come.

* * *

**Hey :) Second longest chapter so far. Hope y'all enjoyed that. I know, Itachi's pretty OC, but this story wouldn't be possible otherwise.**

**What's with the lack of reviews? The last time this story was uploaded (I'm re-uploading this to edit it as I go and complete it, if you didn't know), I had 2-3 reviews per chapter. I miss them.**

**Anyways, thanks for reading! My upload status is always on my profile page, for all of you curious georges.**


	10. Dango Inhalation and Other Extreme Sport

**Hey again!:) If you're reading this, then pat yourself on the back. Go on, do it.**

**You deserve it.**

**Shoutout to guest reviewer **Pocahontas **and reviewer **lindalena** for reviewing EVERY SINGLE chapter! :D Ok, now that that's over with, go on and read! And (hopefully) enjoy!**

* * *

"Ow! God damn it, don't press it down that hard..." Jiraiya shook his head, letting Murasaki warble on as he wrapped her broken wrist. It was only at times like this, when girls talked for no reason, that he stayed away from them.

Jiraiya had attempted to teach Murasaki the Rasengan, but with mixed results. For one, she was a Suiton user. Her chakra wasn't compatible with the technique. Besides breaking her wrist, the chakra needed to form the Rasengan had short-circuited her system, disabling the use of chakra in her left arm for what would be about a week. Though it sounded depressing, not all bad had come out of the situation. After an extensive examination of her chakra type, the old man was in the process of creating a jutsu that would replicate the Rasengan, but instead of chakra, it would emit swirling orbs of water. He hoped to surprise her with it at the end of the day.

"I'm not a medical ninja; there is only so much I can do."

Murasaki sat, stewing in her angry juices. She was mad. Mad at the world. Mad at her broken wrist. Mad at Jiraiya for being terrible at medicine. But most of all, mad at Itachi. The showoff had copied every single one of Jiraiya's techniques with frightening ease- even going so far as to, with an impassive expression, demonstrate to her how to perform them. She had flipped him off. She remembered, with perfect clarity, the almost imperceptible twinkle in his Sharingan eye when he mentioned in a completely monotone voice that girls were irritable when they were on their periods, and asked whether that was the case.

And the worst part was... He was completely right.

The said Uchiha was currently gone, had slipped away into the night without a trace. She was going to _murder_ him when he got back.. But for now, no one was safe from her crankiness. Not even Jiraiya.

"Well, maybe you should spend more time studying up on medical ninjutsu instead of collecting your stupid 'resea-OW!" A particularly tight wrist binding caused her to hiss in pain. Jiraiya sighed, grabbing another bandage roll. It was going to be a long night...

Meanwhile, the other pupil was away. Far away. He had slipped into the calm, cool night air, blending in as naturally as a crow in the darkness. His footsteps were nearly silent against the mossy forest floor. What looked, to a stranger, like an innocent night's walk was really something much more important..

One who looked closer would notice the way Itachi's eyes scanned the landscape, darting from left to right. They wouldn't miss how his hand cupped protectively over his wallet, or fail to notice the usually-calm teen's unusually nervous, jittery demeanor. If they guessed that something was off, then they would not have been wrong.

Because tonight was Dango Therapy Night.

Dango Therapy Night was a ritual that Itachi had always completed after strenuous training. He needed something to calm his nerves, something to release his stress- and what was better than a dango binge? There was nothing that Itachi liked to do better in his spare time.

But for the sheer reason of embarrassment, Itachi liked to do it alone.

Soon enough, Itachi's quiet feet led him to his destination, at where he paused uncertainly. He looked first left, then right, and only when he was sure that he was completely alone did he push back the curtains to the dango stand and step inside. The beads on the curtains made a slight jingle on his way in.

The old lady running the stand whipped her head around at the intruder. Who dared come to her stand at this time of the night? Her eyes widened as she looked him over. It was the boy from earlier- the one who had been dragged away by a flock of screaming girls. And he was covered in lipstick.

"What do you want, kid?" Itachi cautiously looked around before carefully unzipping his wallet and setting down an impressive cash amount on the table.

"Make enough dango that this money will allow." The old lady's eyes widened. To make that amount of dango, she would need to order larger boiling vats, get dozens of bags of powdered sugar from the local grocer, and trees would need to be chopped down for the sheer amount of skewers that the dango sticks would need. The list went on and on. Taking note of her stunned face, Itachi continued. "I'll pay for all of it. Start now, I'll be back in the morning to collect the dango." The old lady nodded uncertainly as Itachi slapped down another wad of cash. She would do it. It would take her all night, but it would happen. She wasn't about to let go a chance to make that much.. In a second, she was at the back of the store, shaking her lazy daughter awake.

"Sayoko! Get up, you lazy ass!" The girl's eyes fluttered open.

"... Unhh... huh?" The old lady stuck a hastily written note onto her daughter's forehead and a wad of cash into her outstretched hand.

"Buy the supplies; we have a party-sized order on our hands!"

Itachi, satisfied upon hearing the two, left the two dango-makers to do their work and started to walk back. He couldn't wait until the morning came.

The Uchiha walked back to camp to find Murasaki (thankfully) passed out in a sleeping bag, bandages wrapped tightly around her wrist, while Jiraiya cooked sweet-potatoes over a well-fed fire. The air was saturated with their mouth-watering aroma. Itachi wordlessly sat across from him and reached out to grab one, but before his hand could reach the pile, a strong hand clamped around his wrist. He glared at Jiraiya. Jiraiya grinned lecherously.

"You can't have any until you answer a few questions for me, Itachi-san." A drop of sweat slid down the Uchiha's neck. Questions? Judging from the grin lecherously plastered on the old man's face, he wasn't going to like their subject. To be honest, he didn't like talking to Jiraiya at all- his subject of choice was always the same. Even though they had known each other for one day.

But would talking to Jiraiya be worth it for sweet potatoes? In a second, Itachi's quick mind decided that sweet potatoes were more important than his own personal annoyance. He nodded slowly, face impassive.

"How long have you been traveling with Murasaki-san?" Itachi allowed his muscles to relax slightly. Maybe the sage's questions wouldn't be that bad. He was probably just overreacting, assuming that the old man always wanted to talk about his "research".

"A week and a half." Jiraiya's lecherous grin widened.

"A week and a half? So that means that you've seen something?" Itachi blinked.

"Seen something?" The creases under his eyes deepened in concentration as he blankly repeated the phrase. Jiraiya facepalmed.

"Yes! A nipple, a curly hair, anything?" The S-ranked criminal could feel a blush creeping across his face, up to the tips of his ears, and behind his neck as he remembered earlier in the afternoon when he thought of what she might look like in the bathhouse. He quickly shook that image away.

"N-no! Why does it matter?" Jiraiya smirked at the hysterical look on Itachi's face. If you pushed the right buttons, it was pretty easy to cause the stoic teen to show emotion.

"God, you're pathetic." Itachi widened his eyes.

"What?"

"You heard me, kid. You're a disgrace to the Uchiha clan." Itachi was even more confused.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Jiraiya facepalmed yet again.

"So you're trying to tell me that you've been with the girl for a week and a half and you still haven't seen_ anything_? Even I can do better than that, kid." Itachi's eyes narrowed into slits that Jiraiya was sure he couldn't have been able to see out of.

"I'm not a pervert like you." Jiraiya raised his eyebrows.

"I wouldn't be so sure.." Itachi scowled, turned around, dragged his sleeping bag far away from Jiraiya, and shimmied into it, mumbling a dismissive "goodnight". The argument wasn't worth the sweet potatoes.

"Goodnight, Uchiha! Have fun with your sweet potatoes- wait, that's right, you don't have any!" The sannin laughed until Itachi was forced to cover his ears with his pillow. He drifted into a fitful sleep.

/-Three AM-/

Itachi tossed. He turned. But the question wouldn't leave him alone. He wouldn't be able to sleep until it was answered... Rolling over to Jiraiya, he poked him once in the forehead. The old man's eyes fluttered open.

"...ughh.."

"Where is the Akatsuki base?" A red knot formed on his forehead.

"Huh? What? Where is Murasaki's face?"

"The Akatsuki base." Jiraiya frowned.

"You dare wake me up to ask such a stupid question? While I'm dreaming about Tsunade?" He sighed. "Everyone knows that it's in Kumogakure." Itachi's eyes widened in a rare display of emotion.

"I was almost positive that it was located in Amegakure." Jiraiya shook his head.

"Lies. That was made up to deter ambitious young posers, like you. Now, go to bed; I need to get back to my dream." Itachi, satisfied with his newfound information, complied.

/-In the morning-/

The sun shone.

The air was still.

The birds chirped.

A perfect day to get up, but Murasaki wasn't interested. She defiantly kept her eyes shut until she was sure that the disturbances to her sleep wouldn't go away. As they were opened, she took a quick survey around the campsite. Jiraiya and Itachi were nowhere to be seen, though judging from the sun's place in the sky, it was around seven in the morning. A yellow piece of parchment stuck on the back of a sweet potato caught her eye, and she got up, cursing under her breath as she felt a period cramp attack her, and angrily snatched it off.

_Dear Murasaki-san,_

_I'll be out for the whole day, so you and Itachi will get an extended resting period. Use it wisely. I wouldn't do anything too strenuous- but maybe Itachi has other ideas._

Right there, interrupting the letter, was a rather badly drawn pair of eyes winking.

_This is your breakfast, unless you want something else. Under this sweet potato is 20,000 ryo. Stay safe and have fun._

At the bottom of the page was a signature- a stamp, it looked like- written with Jiraiya's usual humility. It read, "Jiraiya, the Badass Sannin and Humble Writer of the Icha Icha Series". Murasaki couldn't stop herself from grinning stupidly as she set down the note. The old man was full of himself, for sure. She was still wondering what his letter meant when he said that Itachi would have other ideas... And what was with the wink?

She brushed it off with a shrug and looked in disgust at the sweet potato. It was cold. And dirty. But her stomach grumbled, and she hated to spend someone else's money on food... With a quick pinch of the nostril, Murasaki downed the whole thing in one bite, and as promised, the 20,000 ryo sat shining in a stack underneath. Her hands slowly approached the bills, her fingers slowly closing around it as if it was a scared animal. She brought it to her nose and sniffed.

She loved the smell of money. It was something that she didn't get to enjoy often, and when she did, she indulged in it. With the same care, she tucked the bills into her pouch and stretched. It was time to find Itachi.

/-At the Dango Stand-/

Itachi cracked his knuckles, fixing his opponent with a stern glare. His opponent didn't move. And that was good.

Because when dango starts to move on your tray, there's a problem.

Itachi had never faced a foe so great in his life. A legion of enemies stood before him- white, blobby, and armed with mitarashi sauce. It was about as dangerous as they came. But Itachi would never back down.

The spectators to the match bit their fingernails anxiously as they watched Itachi flex his fingers before slowly reaching out and grabbing a skewer- the first assault in a major battle. They watched intently from behind the counter as Itachi scanned the dango for imperfections before decisively taking a nibble. A collective gasp could be heard as the two awaited his reaction. Nothing moved. No one breathed.

Itachi took another bite. And another. In no less than three seconds, the first fattening foe was defeated. The old woman and her daughter stood, open-mouthed, in a sea of their own nail clippings as they watched the teen devour a dozen more in the same fashion, and at that moment, the two were thinking the same thing. The old woman looked at her daughter. Her daughter looked back.

And Sayoko rushed to the back of the store to get her video camera.

/-Back to Murasaki-/

Ryo in hand, the girl stood in front of the local theatre. The new titles were interesting, and the last time she had watched a movie was on a lame date back home. But she didn't want to watch one alone... Itachi had to be somewhere. She sighed, shaking her head. The only times that she wanted to see him were the times that he was either unconscious or away. Every other time, he was annoying. Or too busy eating dango to talk.

After a brief internal conflict, she decided that seeking him out wasn't worth the wait and pushed open the doors to the theatre. A portly man greeted her on the way in.

"What movies do you have open?" The man scratched his head.

"Well, there's Icha Icha Paradise: 2, Jaws, and Aladdin out, but..." The man trailed off. Murasaki's interest was instantly sparked.

"But what?" He grimaced.

"We've been getting complaints all day of an older man with a scroll on his back that's been cheering for the characters in Icha Icha Paradise. Quite loudly, actually. And whenever someone tells him to be quiet, he tells them that he's doing important research."

Murasaki paled.

"One ticket to Jaws, please."

(/)

The silver-haired girl walked happily out of the movie theatre, sipping a Coke Zero, with no regrets. That was the second most relaxing thing she had done all week, and she was thoroughly enjoying her kunoichi R&R.

But after staring longingly at her colorless fingernails, she decided that her day was not yet complete and was about to start heading for the nail parlor when a high-pitched, squeaky voice interrupted her joyous stride.

"...he was at the dango stand, and he just, like, ate it all!" Another voice, one that was even screechier, joined in.

"OMG. That's what makes him soooo hot! I just want to tie him to my bed and rip off his clothes and-"

"No, I thought that we agreed to share, remember? First, _I_ tie him up, and then _you_ rip off his clothes and we both choke him with his hair!"

The sound of Murasaki's Coke Zero hitting the ground could be heard throughout the street.

/-At the Dango Stand-/

Itachi exhaled, rubbing his pregnant-looking belly. He had just got done eating the three hundred and twenty-four dango that was ordered. For two hours, he had eaten. And for two hours, a crowd had gathered disbelievingly around the stand, watching him finish every last one. Even the old woman and her daughter had been in disbelief. They insisted on taking a picture with him holding his belly with the clean dango sticks in the background.

Itachi didn't regret anything. Besides feeling a little... stretched out, he was all right. He felt content; his dango binge had fulfilled its purpose. All he wondered was what Murasaki was currently doing...

A high-pitched scream jolted him out of his thoughts.

"ITACHI-KUN!" Itachi paled as he realized what that sound was. How did the girls find him already? And what did they want? Weren't they satisfied with what they had gotten yesterday? Itachi didn't give himself the time to answer these questions. He broke into a sprint, the girls right on his tail. On a normal occasion, Itachi would be far ahead.

But, as common sense would tell you, people tend to move a lot slower when their bellies are filled with three hundred twenty-four times the normal serving size of dango.

What happened next, Itachi refused to talk about. All he would disclose was that involved a lot of horny girls, rope, tattered clothes, and pain. Lots and lots of pain. And it was because of this same pain that he hissed, hours later and back at camp, glaring as a certain purple-eyed kunoichi rubbed salve on his bruises.

Murasaki glared back.

"Don't give me that look- you brought this on yourself! Why the hell would you go into the middle of town after yesterday? And for _dango_? God..." Itachi looked back at Murasaki impassively, ignoring the venom in her voice.

"It was worth it." She shook her head, mumbling about "crazy fatasses" before rubbing more salve on his bruises. She couldn't believe she was using her own money to pay for the salve. Where was Jiraiya when you needed him?

Her answer came at that exact moment.

At first, the two shinobi paid the sound no notice. The barely-there croaking was perfectly in sync with the rest of the night sounds. But, like an unwanted mother in law, it started to become more prominent, more annoying, until...

"Ribbit." Murasaki's hand froze on its way to the bowl of medicine. She could feel her heart beating faster, and with all her might, she hoped that when she looked down, she wouldn't see what she thought she would.

But, as we all know, that is never the case.

"AAAAGH! FUCK! GET THAT THING _AWAY_ FROM ME!" Itachi glanced impassively down at the toad that had seemingly materialized out of thin air. It was definitely no coincidence. It was a well-known fact that toads were Jiraiya's communication form of choice, just as it was a well-known fact that Itachi liked to communicate through crows. He wordlessly picked up the toad and waited for it to deliver its message.

"Jiraiya-sama is in the hospital due to blood loss from... unfortunate circumstances. He offers his sincerest apologies to the both of you that he is unable to train. But, as a token of his gratitude for helping him, he presents you both with separate gifts. He thinks that you will enjoy them." The toad turned to the Uchiha and took a few hops until it was on his lap. Its eyes bugged out of its head, and for a few seconds, it seemed to be choking. After a lot of coughs and splutters, two different projectiles each covered in toad oil shot onto Itachi's lap. Itachi picked them both up in interest, genuinely interested as to what the old man had gotten him- but as his eyes scanned the cover, he couldn't stop a blush from reaching the tips of his ears.

Itachi was holding two brand new Icha Icha novels, one green and one orange. Why would Jiraiya buy them for him? He would obviously never read them. Though, as he read the title of the green book, he realized that he had made a mistake. The first one was not an Icha Icha novel. Though it still had the same badly-drawn cover as the other orange book, _Icha Icha: Desert Dreams_, its cover read_ The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi_. Though its name sparked Itachi's interest, he wasn't sure if he wanted to read it. The book could quite possibly be a wolf in sheep's skin.

While Itachi contemplated whether or not he should read the book, the toad turned to Murasaki(who was currently cowered up against the tree) and repeated the same choking process, only this time instead of two books coming out of the toad's mouth, it was a single sheet of paper.

"That is Jiraiya-sama's message." And with a single poof of smoke, the toad was gone. Murasaki was still shaking in the corner.

"I'm not touching anything that was inside that thing's mouth." The Uchiha, who was examining the note, spoke up.

"It's a jutsu." Surprise took over her features, and in one fluid motion, she snatched the oily paper out of his hands. Her eyes scanned it hungrily while her lips curved into a smile.

The name was actually "Jiraiya's Super Ultimate Water Rasengan From the Hidden Leaf" but there was no way that Murasaki would call it that. The old man made her laugh with his blatant cockiness. No, she would just call it the Water-Rasengan.

Itachi(who felt somewhat cheated) and Murasaki(who felt happy, but still somehow cheated) both put their gifts away, Itachi putting his at the bottom of his pack. He could make a few good ryo selling the books on the duration of their journey to Kumo- if that was where the Akatsuki base was. He didn't know whether he could completely trust Jiraiya, but he currently had no choice.

Night drew in. It was eerily peaceful outside with no animal sounds to disturb the pair's dinner, and soon enough, the two had to go to bed. Sleep was a rather awkward subject. It was cold outside, but Itachi knew not to start a fire in the middle of the woods. He needed warmth, but the only warm life force around was Murasaki, who was comfortably curled up in a sleeping bag on the opposite side of camp. He was way too much of an introvert to go any closer...

But after a long time of thinking, he decided that his interests outweighed his fears, and being careful not to make a sound on the soft grass, he walked over. He stood over her, watching her body for any signs of unnatural movement before pulling up his sleeping bag and lying down next to her.

But he was still cold.

The Uchiha sighed, forcing his muscles to move until he could feel the girl's warmth against his skin. That should have been enough. It definitely should have, but Itachi wanted more. It was out of his control when his arm shot up. He was forced to watch, in horror, as it hovered over the sleeping kunoichi's body before firmly curling around her waist. His muscles pulled her body completely alongside his, until he could feel her hair tickling his face. His eyes widened. He stared at his arm, the traitorous limb, in shock. His own body had committed treason. Murasaki could never, ever find out...

Itachi wasn't the only one in shock. The silver-haired kunoichi was currently suffering from a massive case of disbelief. He, Uchiha Itachi, the girly-boy, had just infiltrated her personal space. And. Had. His. Arm. Around. Her. Waist.

She didn't know what to think. Any other guy would have been on their way across the sea due to the prize-winning slap that she would have given them... But she didn't know what to do about Itachi. She... _liked_ him, though as hard as she tried, she couldn't imagine the feeling to be mutual. So she shut her eyes, trying to ignore the warm tingles that she was feeling where Itachi's arm met her waist.

And they both went to sleep.

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**How was that? I had so much fun writing it!:) Haha, I finally have the plot figured out- the major events anyway. If you're down here reading what I have to say, thanks! And I love you!:)**

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**Ryo - Form of currency used in the Naruto world.**

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**Don't forget to review!**


	11. Away To Kumo Part One

**Thanks for just taking the time to be on this page. You're awesome! And don't let anyone tell you otherwise :) The glossary will still be at the bottom of the page as usual, because I don't want you to spaz out when you don't know the meaning of a Japanese word. That would be rather unfortunate. Thanks to those that reviewed in the past chapters!**

Chapter 9- Away To Kumo

**********  
  
Itachi made sure that he was the first one to wake up.

He didn't want to be subjected to the medieval torture contraptions that Murasaki would surely use to castrate him had she witnessed what he'd done, so he set his mental alarm clock to wake him up before sunrise. And now, as he sat, wide awake, waiting for the sun to creep up from the east, he realized that his one-step plan contained a major flaw.

He was bored.

There honestly weren't many things that would keep Itachi's mind occupied for a good length of time. For example, your average idiot would find himself very, very engaged with a geometry textbook. Itachi's photographic memory allowed him to skim though the pages and memorize all of the proofs in consecutive order. He had always been hopelessly brighter than his peers.****

But now, as he uncertainly held a certain paperback title between his fingers, he wondered how true that statement had actually been. The fact that he was really considering reading Jiraiya's novel, _The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi_, was blasphemous. With its badly drawn cover, faded orange binding, and multiple kunai slashes across the front, it was obvious that Jiraiya had kept the book for a long time. Likely, it was his first written book before the Icha Icha series. Did that mean that it would be worth reading? Probably not. Nevertheless, Itachi was too bored to refuse the book's silent offer. With a resignatory "hn", he opened up to the front page and started to read.**  
**  
/-An Hour Later-/

The Uchiha slowly and hesitantly closed the book's worn covers, fingers trembling from the shock of what he had just done.

He had just got done reading Jiraiya's book, credits and all.

And loved it.

No words could describe Itachi's disbelief as his eyes, almost against his will, had scanned through the words on the pages hungrily. The next page could never come quickly enough. By the time Itachi had realized what he was doing, the book was over- leaving him to wonder why Jiraiya spent every waking moment jotting down notes to write the stupid, stupid _Icha Icha_ series when he could be writing a sequel to the brilliant book that he had just read. It left him on a terrible cliffhanger. As much as he hated to admit it(and oh, how Itachi hated to admit things), he was impressed. In fact, Itachi was surprised that the old man could even be _inspired_ by anything other than "research" or "babes". Jiraiya seemed to be more intelligent than he'd first thought.****

Itachi wasn't sure how long he sat there, book in hand, back against the tree. He felt very, very tempted to seek out the white-haired pervert and ask him to write a sequel- but, as one could infer, the pride of an Uchiha is an obstinate creature. With a dismissive toss into his pack, the book was gone, leaving Itachi alone in the darkness, and yet still stuck with his constant companion.

Boredom.

He closed his onyx eyes and sighed, allowing the tear troughs under them to deepen. If only Jiraiya had written another book... As quickly as that thought had appeared, it was gone. Itachi wouldn't allow himself to wallow in his boredom-induced self-pity. He would take care of it, of that he was sure. But how?

Eyebrows furrowed, the Uchiha scanned the campsite for things that could occupy his mind. His eyes widened as they settled on a flat, wooden object poking out of his pack. How could his answer have been so simple?

(/)

Itachi wasn't sure how long he played shogi with his shadow clone, but he did know that by the time he was done, his stomach was grumbling.

And that the dango stand was calling.

But that was to be expected. Because as surely as the sun rose every morning and set every night, Itachi craved dango on a daily basis. Not even the recurrent threat of being gang-molested by a flock of horny girls was enough to keep Itachi- or his mind- off of his favorite treat.

Counting the money in his wallet, the said boy was just contemplating the sadness of that aspect of his life when he heard a shuffling noise from behind him. A two-hundred yen note froze on its way from Itachi's (resentfully) manicured hands as he listened. And listened.

And did not hear.

The forest seemed to quiet down exclusively for those few precious seconds he spent listening for the disturbance. The birds had stopped singing, the wind had stopped blowing, and somewhere, Itachi was sure that a lone cricket was chirping to complete the scene. He blinked. Was someone messing around with him? Sounds typically didn't come and go without a reason. Itachi felt his onyx eyes narrow as they traveled to the silver-haired girl lying asleep on the floor. He wouldn't have been surprised if Murasaki had found a way to annoy him while she was still asleep.

Cursing under his breath as he remembered her other pranks, Itachi continued counting his money. This went on, and in time, the mysterious forest sounds became less and less relevant. For a few, precious minutes, it was peaceful while thoughts of dango and hunger invaded his brain and pushed them to the back of his mind.

By the time Itachi's fingers were on his last yen, he had almost completely forgotten about the incident. And that was the way he liked it.

But by now, reader, I am sure you know that nothing is ever peaceful for long in this story.

With a sigh of completion, Itachi zipped up his Uchiha fan wallet. Money-counting was an aspect of his life that the Sharingan made obsolete. What was the point of counting your money when you could already predict the bills you would pick up next? Itachi thought back to earlier in the day, when he was playing chess with his shadow clone. _That_ had also been extremely pointless.

Exhaling regretfully, Itachi was just thinking that he needed to find better activities to occupy his time when he heard it again. Low, mysterious, and deliberate.

The shuffling noise.

In about three hundred and twenty-seven tenths of a second, Itachi was completely turned around, Sharingan eyes glaring dangerously. He had a very good mind to burn the annoyance blacker than his mother's hair with Amaterasu. And he would have been able to...

But the culprit was gone- fast.

Because it was only with his Sharingan activated that he was able to see a white and black-striped patch retreat into the bushes. He immediately tensed. White and black together were not colors found naturally in a summertime, forest environment, and the last he had remembered, those colors were in style.

Was it possible that someone was watching him at nine AM in the morning?

A question that Itachi desperately needed to know the answer to.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood straight up when he calculated the probability of a person watching him at odd hours. It was likely. Very likely. In fact, after the unmentionable incident involving dango sticks and horny girls the day before, Itachi was genuinely surprised that he hadn't been followed home. Up until that moment, it was Murasaki's abrasive presence that had been keeping him safe.

And now she was asleep.

There was a long, stiff silence as possibilities upon possibilities of painful situations came to life within Itachi's mind, and in less time than it would take for him to find a half-off dango coupon book, he had made up his mind. That incident would never, _ever_ repeat itself in any way, shape or form- even if he had to wake up Murasaki for it to happen. Because having weighed the sting from the hot slap Murasaki would deliver to him after hearing how ridiculous his plight sounded versus the time and money it would take to remove a variety of different shades of lipstick from his clothing, the answer was obvious. Yes. The irate kunoichi was going to gain consciousness for the sake of his well-being.

The Uchiha had just taken his first steps toward Murasaki when he heard a shuffling noise, yet again. Except this time, it wasn't in the bushes, nor was it in the trees. The irritating noise was now coming from directly behind him. Itachi felt his whole body tighten with anticipation as he instinctively grabbed his katana from his sheath, activated his Sharingan, and turned around to see...

… A skunk. Quite specifically, its backside.

**Hey people! This is only half of the chapter I was planning on writing, and this is the place my writer's block intervened the last time I wrote this. Let's hope I can pull through... Anyways, hoped you liked the chapter! Sorry for the bogus cliffhanger.**

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**_Shogi- Japanese form of chess_**

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**Alright, that's it! Thanks for reading, & don't forget to review if you were going to!**


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